Have you ever decided to stop your complaining?

I’ve decided several times and today I found myself complaining about the highway traffic.

“Annoying, stinky, polluting, too fast” and on and on.

Suddenly I’d gone from enjoying the beautiful day to being dull and grouchy…

“Ouch!”

I wanted my beautiful day back!

Hmmmmmm, I quieted my mind and asked myself,

“What does the flow of traffic reminded me of?”

“The bloodstream of life” is what popped into my head.

A freeway flowing just as the blood cells do in my body.

Blood delivering  nutrients and removing unwanted things.

My focus shifted to appreciating the blood flowing through me…my energy going with the flow.

YAY, I did it! Back to my wonderful day of  trusting life…knowing all is well.

Evolution is happening and ending my complaining around too much traffic is being part of the resolution rather than being part of the problem (complaining polluting the energy pathways).

I started thinking about the nature of complaining…

Definition of “complaining”:

• “To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction or resentment”
• “Express annoyance or dissatisfaction about a state of affairs or an event”

Anonymous definition:

• “Complaining is usually what people do when something displeases them.”
• Most people would rather use a verbal indication to express their displeasure of a certain thing, rather than taking a stand and doing something about it”

Have you ever complained about trying to stop complaining?  It isn’t that easy! What is so bad about complaining anyway? Complaining comes naturally for humans doesn’t it?

• But is it that easy?
• What’s so bad about complaining, anyway?
• “Griping comes naturally for humans, right?
• “Evolution primes us to focus on the negative for self-defense”
• “Swearing off something that comes naturally to us seems like a setup for failure”

With all of that in mind, “Whining comes with a cost”

says Jon Gordon in his book  “The No Complaining Rule”.

“When we complain, our brain releases stress hormones

harming neural connections in areas used for problem solving

and other cognitive functions.

This also happens when we listen to someone moan and groan.

“It’s as bad as secondhand smoke,” Gordon says.

“It’s secondhand complaining“.

 THE GOOD NEWS IS :  There’s a way to make a shift from complaining.

1.  Get clear on what complaining is.

“There’s lots of highway traffic” that’s an observation, right?

A complaint would be, “There’s lot’s of traffic, it’s crazy, ruining the world and making me feel miserable

2.  Notice how often you complain.

Has it become a habit?

3.  Notice what you complaining about.

Is there a way to resolve what you’re complaining about?

4. Ask yourself if complaining  is having

the effect you want to have on your relationships?

Are people starting to avoid you?

5.  Avoid hanging around with chronic complainers.

As soon as you do,  you’ll notice the chronic complainers

start to leave you alone because you aren’t

playing the complaining game anymore.

6. Be the resolution rather than part of the problem.  

7. Add an “and” to things that annoy you,

” I don’t like traffic, AND I love being able to get to where I want to go,

AND I like to get there fast”

8. Change any “shoulds” or “I have to”…

to “I choose to” or “I get to”

To your power to choose,

Contact me with any questions you may have:

Email: crystalpresence@earthlink.net

Book an appointment for a free consolation with me:

https://crystalpresence.acuityscheduling.com/

Call me at:  520-907-6864

How would it feel to have someone always trying to push you away? 

Have you been treating your ego that way?

What if your ego is designed to be

your friend and ally?

Think about it…

“Ego” is a psychological term popularized by Freud.

Ego is term meaning the part of your conscious mind

aware of your identity and the fact you exist.

Other definitions of ego include:

Your “ego” is an integral part of you.

Ego allows you to be  aware you exist.

It gives you a sense of wholeness in relation to everyone

and everything else in the universe.

Ego makes you aware of having healthy boundaries

within a greater knowing you’re literally “One with All That Is”.

So how did ego get such a bad rap?

Spiritual, religious and psychological teachings often confuse ego

with the perception of how you see yourself, your self image.

The confusion is understandable, and it’s important to remember

no part of you is separate from the whole of you, including your ego.

Ego is a gift from your creator, as are all aspects of you.  

After years of being blamed, shamed and pushed away, ego needs embracing more than ever.

Embrace your ego as a loving and empowering part of you.

Check out Freud’s view of ego (in the image).            

And ask yourself this question: “What’s the nature of experiencing a healthy ego that supports, nurtures and empowers me in every beneficial way possible?”

Here’s an interesting thought on the subject…

Do you ever notice that the people fanatically trying to get rid of ego, are often some of the most self obsessed, self important and self image driven people you know?

Do you ever notice the more you try getting rid of any aspect of yourself,

the faster it rears it’s head up again?

The more you try,

the more exaggerated it gets inside inside?

And then you start to see it reflected in people popping into your life?,

There’s no escape, we eventually have to face it, right?

There’s no escaping for a good reason!

Think about it…

You need all parts of you to be whole, right?

All parts of you are sacred, sensitive and want to survive.

Your ego too!

Ego is scared when it’s pushed away,

doing what it can to survive.

Often is tries to survive by puffing itself up so it looks important

or makes a self image it thinks you’ll like better.

THE GOOD NEWS IS:  It’s not too late to embrace, love  and give your ego what it needs to feel safe and function in a healthy, whole and loving way within you.

Best to you and your ego,

For all you Carlos fans, I think you’ll like these videos on the power of intention, by Wayne Dyer (part 1 and 2). I recommend putting your earphones on, turn down the lights, lay back, turn on the video and enjoy the ride 🙂

To the power of intent,

People ask me, “How do I let go of the guilt I have?”

I say, “Well, first describe to me what guilt is for you.

”They say: “Guilt is doing something wrong.”

 I say:  “Doing something wrong is a behavior, right?”

They say:  “Yes.'”

I say:  “Okay, now describe how guilt feels to you.”

They say:  “It’s a mucky feeling in my gut”

I say:  “Describe the feeling,”

They say: “Tight, stuck and miserable.”

I say: “Point to where you feel it the most.”

They say:  “Right here.”

I say :  “How did it get there?”

They say:  “I guess, I put it there.”

I say: “How?”

They say:  “Tightening up around my chest and stomach.”

I say: “And then what happens when you’re tight and constricted inside?”

They say:  “I feel terrible”

I say:  “Is feeling terrible something you deserve? Is it a punishment for something you did?”

They say: “Yes, I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

I say:  “Would you rather be feeling miserable and guilty…or  creating resolution?”

They say: “ Resolution of course! But how do I get rid of that terrible feeling of guilt?”

I say:  First of all, trying to “get rid of” it doesn’t work.

What does work is…

• Admit and greet the guilt.
• Embrace it.
• Breathe into it.
• Talk to it.
• Move and circulate the energy in and out of it.
• Vibrate into it.
• Let it know you won’t abandon it.
• Let it talk to you, and keep conversation going back and forth between you and your guilt.
• Express and feel the guilt…
• Let any shame vibrate and move through you.
• Let it move and circulate.
• Be willing…
• Let go of  holding on inside.
• Allow the guilt to dissolve, resolve and evolve.
• Be willing…
• Freedom is closer than you think! 

Admitting and feeling the guilt can be overwhelming at first…

and if you’re willing to embrace, vibrate and stay with the feeling

 all the way through…

I guarantee you’ll  find a loving, forgiving place inside.

Suddenly you’ll remember you’re a loving person, ready to learn from your experience.  

You will have literally let go of the holding back…

and are ready to apologize to yourself, and whoever else is involved.. (either in person or telepathically.

THE GOOD NEWS IS:  

The part of you that was holding guilt in place…

is free now…

Free to be the part of you who reminds you…

to accept, love and embrace all your experiences,

no matter what the evidence.

To embracing guilt and setting yourself free.

 “How do I know if I’m all the way willing or not?”

My answer is always the same, “You just know, you can feel it.”

Ask yourself this question: “What’s the nature of experiencing willingness?”

Quick Story:

Years ago I was invited to speak at a Peace Conference.

When the co-ordinator asked what

the title of the my presentation was said,

“Why People Hold Back From Peace”.

She stared at me with a surprised look on her face,

then suddenly smiled and said, “I get it, we all need to address this!”

The point of the story is, you are not alone in secretly being unwilling at times.

We all face many of the same day to day challenges

and sometimes find ourselves unwilling to

actually make the changes we say we want.

Willingness is one of the most essential skills for creating the freedom you say you want.

Willingness is the ability to suspend your thoughts

while bringing forth the bodily felt sense of openness to something new.

It takes a suspension of  wherever you are physically,

emotionally and mentally “holding back”.

Willingness creates a crack to allow something new.

It is a  letting go of any static perception of “how things are”,

while releasing tension in your body,

long enough for a shift to happen.

Make sense?

And the wonderful thing is,

even if you open a willing space for at least 10 seconds,

it works!

Yep, a full 10 seconds of suspending the way you have been “holding” things,

will get the ball rolling!

Ten seconds of 100% willingness, not 99.99%,

will open enough of a crack to allow something new!

Believe me, it works so well you may not even notice what’s happening.

Have you ever experienced that?

You wanted something in your life,

made the decision and were willing…

and one day you suddenly you realize what you wanted is happening?

It’s true, when you’re truly willing,

and release the grip on what’s holding you back,

you can wake up one morning and with…

• A new attitude

• Support coming in from all  directions.

• Evidence of change surrounding you.

• Knowing your dream’s are coming true.

You may still be wondering, “How do I know when I’m at 100% willingness?”

It’s funny when I think of all the things I tried to answer that  to question:

• Walked with focused intention on the country roads
• Breathed into my intentions.
• Hung upside down on my couch to  change my way of looking at things.
• Screamed into pillows, hit pillows and danced
• Spent hours in nature
• Did everything I could think of to shift my energy.

All of those things helped, but it wasn’t until

I discovered the “unwilling” part, did things start to change.

Here’s what I learned:

Willingness lives inside us, and we feel and know whether we are willing or not. Our bodies know if we’re holding back.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: Once you admit you’re unwilling, you can shift it!

Some tips on how to be willingness include:

• Admit where you are.
• Rate your willingness on a scale from 1-100% willing. it’s fine wherever you are, as long as you’re willing to admit where you are in the process, you’ll keep making headway.
•  Embrace the part that feels unwilling.
• Breathe into it.
• Let the unwillingness know that you’re not going to push it away again, or pretend that it’s not there.
• Let the unwillingness talk to you, and tell you how it feels to be holding back.
• Talk back and forth until you feel your connection and love for the unwillingness that has been dutifully holding back for you.
• Keep breathing into it.
• Let your energy move and circulate around it, as you let go of the grip you’ve had around it.
• Allow the unwillingness to gently  dissolve, resolve and evolve into willingness.

Notice what happens, and even if you tighten up again,

you’ve created a crack!

A crack to let go into, a doorway for something new to happen.

Willingness is the decision to slip through the crack.

Remember, it’s fine wherever you are.

You’ll keep moving forward as long as you’re 

willing to admit where you are in the process.

In other words…

If I asked you right now: “How willing are you?“.

You might say: “Well Crystal, I think I’m at about 45%”.

I’d say:  “Great! That’s a good start and it means you know what I’m taking about. 

Your openness to explore and admit the truth is where it all begins! 

 Keep checking in with yourself and get reference points on

when you feel the most willingness and

keep expanding on that. 

 Remember, wherever you are in your experience is fine, 

keep embracing whatever you find

and your body will start getting the message 

that willingness is what you want. 

You’re opening  new pathways…

You’re breaking the habit of unwillingness,

and need some time to go thru the withdrawal from holding back.

No amount of convincing will ever get someone to be willing.

It only happens when you’re ready.

Ready to give your consent.

Ready to end the holding back…releasing reluctance and resistance.

With intent for willingness to flow freely,

You may be wondering what I mean by “sustainable people.”

The definition of “sustainabe” in Wikipedia includes:

• “The capacity to endure.”
• “How biological systems remain diverse and productive over time. For humans it’s the potential for long term maintenance of well being, which in turn depends on the maintenance of the natural world and natural resources.”

With everything we’re hearing about the need to support the sustainability of our planet, I rarely hear about how we can cultivate a sustainability that radiates from our insides out. 

From my perspective, sustainability begins within each one of us, and if you really want to restore the sustainability of our planet, you need to look at how to be sustainable from your inside out.

 If you’re still wondering what I’m talking about, or wondering how to do it, start by asking yourself the following questions:

(1) How am I treating my planet in the very same way that I am treating myself?

• How am I exhausting the resources of my body?
• How am polluting myself?
• How am I ignoring my own wants and needs?
• How am I using myself like a machine that I will take care of sometime in the future? 

(2) Am I being part of the resolution or am I part of the problem?

• Am I someone who makes a problem out of the solution?
• Am I bringing resolution to the relationship I have with myself, or am I pushing my issues out and pointing my fingers at other people?
• Am I asking how I can be part of the resolution, or do I use problems to drain my energy and the energy of the people around me?

 (3) Am I remembering that I have nucleus effect? That the choices that I make my choices have effect on everyone and everything around me? 

• Am I taking 100% responsibility for the issues in my life, and issues I see in the world?
• Am I making choices for myself that support my experience of sustainable health, sustainable relationship and sustainable abundance?
• Am I willing to observe myself and the others around me to acknowledge the effect that I am having on myself and others?

(4)  Am I willing to ask myself these following two questions and allow myself to listen for the answers?

• What is the nature of experiencing sustainability from my inside out?

• What is the nature of experiencing sustainability as an integral way of life in the world?

Becoming a sustainable person requires:

• Embracing sustainability as a natural aspect of your being, and the world around you.
• Renewing your energy by staying rested and using our personal energy wisely.
• Giving your body what it needs, including  food, water, air and movement.
• Listening to your emotions and not pushing them away to “get things done”.
• Following your heart and doing the things that you love.
• Allowing the bodily felt sense of love to move through you.
• Connecting with yourself and the mysteries of life.
• Taking quiet meditative time to listen to your inherent knowledge, and allowing it to guide you in being sustainable from your inside out.
• Being present for the opportunities that are yours to be part of the resolution

These are the kinds of questions that lead to a sustainable kind of wellness, a whole being wellness that allows you to feel  connected, energized, empowered and free. 

To being part of the resolution,

.

.

How it would it feel to have a sustainable freedom radiating from your inside out?

The freedom to make changes in your life, while also being a catalyst for changes you want to see in the world?

If your answer is a resounding “Yes!”,  you’ve come to a special place. Whether it’s physical, emotional or financial freedom you’re looking for, you’ll be glad you found your way here.

I’m excited you’ve landed on this page as it tells me you’re a pioneering spirit with the courage to be free and present.

The question is how do you navigate in the “Oneness” of it all, while dealing with day to day challenges and fully receiving the gifts of life?

Good question!

My invitation is into a grounded and nurturing experience.

What I’m good at is…

Guiding you to the core of whatever stands between you

and the freedom you want.

My guidance encompasses psychological, spiritual and scientific points of views, yet is not dogmatic.

Nor is there any intent to convince you of anything.

Everything you’ll experience is designed to ignite new possibilities in your life.

Many people say they want tools, new tools.

I support you in experiencing  you “are” the tool.

I guide with powerful lessons on how to navigate yourself

through the twists and turns of life

while having a fun and wonderful journey.                                          

A friend and mentor of mine once said, “It’s the difference between riding the waves of life present and enjoying the ride…

Or continuously falling off the board and getting sand up your nose”.

I’m not a therapist…

I’m an educator with intent to share information with you.

Exploring the nature of freedom has been a passion, inspiration,

and motivation in my life.

I invite you to enter into a safe, fun and nurturing space…

to share with you what I’ve learned over many years of

my own personal exploration and working with hundreds of people all over the world.

Freedom at your core is available if you follow along and integrate what I’ll be sharing with you.

.Imagine yourself waking up every morning knowing your day will be filled with…

• Gratitude, inspiration, motivation and passion for life.
• Joy in taking 100% responsibility for your life.
• Experiencing the freedom always available to you, no matter what your circumstances.

I invite you to join me in this dynamic and ever evolving journey.

Start by joining me in a  FREE 30 minute conversation.

CLICK HERE to choose a convenient time to have your conversation.

And…

Go back to the home page and you can subscribe to “Crystal Insights”, monthly emails with insights, and interesting things to think about around creating more freedom in your life.

You can also CLICK HERE in for instant information about my online interactive course,”Freedom From The Inside Out”.

As a gift, you’ll also be receiving some of my favorite tips on sustaining the freedom in your life. 

You can also…

Email me at crystalpresence@earthlink.net 

Or

Send a private message in messenger at http://www.facebook.com/crystalpresence

To your freedom,

Do you ever find yourself wondering what “loving yourself” really means?

You are not alone in wondering this.

Unfortunately, the expression “loving yourself ” has often been associated with selfishness, self importance and self obsession…along with the common experience of building evidence around why we shouldn’t be loving ourselves.

And if you are someone who wants to love and serve humanity, the truth is that you will only have the power to be of true service to the extent that you truly love and serve yourself.

Many years ago when I was first learning about what it meant to love myself, I went to a service organization called “Save the _____”, and found it interesting that most of the staff were working 14 hour days, felt exhausted,  disappointed, hopeless and as if they were the ones that needed to be saved!  It was then that I truly understood the power of what it meant to truly love myself and know that I am only able to love and be of service to anyone  was to the level at which I was willing and able to serve and love myself.

THE GOOD NEWS IS:

Loving yourself simply means making choices that encourage, nurture and support yourself.

Start out by asking yourself this question: “What is the nature of experiencing the bodily felt sense of loving myself?

Loving to yourself includes:

(1) Talking to yourself in ways that are nurturing and supportive

For  example:

Imagine that someone just got mad at you about something that you said.

Here are two different ways that you can choose to talk to yourself about what just happened.

• “No matter what I say, it’s never enough”
• “I’m not very good at communicating, so I might as well give up”
•  “I’m really not a good enough person”
• “There must be something wrong with me”
• “I’m a loser and should just forget about ever having any friends”
• “She hates me, so I might as well leave and never come come back”

• Breathe into your experience
• Imagine holding yourself
• Let yourself know that you won’t push any part of yourself away
• Be honest with yourself, admit what choices you made
• Stay present with whatever feelings you have and give them a safe place to express
• Let yourself know that you just had a learning experience., and are not bad
• When you’re present and ready to talk to the people that were involved in the mistake you made,  let them know what your experience was, and why you made the choices you did and apologize with the intent to bring resolution and make new choices.

• Breathe and take notice of what your body is telling you
• Let your body know that you will respond to it, and ask it what it needs
• Rest instead of pushing past what you know is best for your body
• Let go of how you thought your day was going to be, including changing any plans that you had for the day
• Drink plenty of water
• Take a hot bath
• Take appropriate herbs and supplementation

• Make healthy choicex. Explore and learn more about what that means to you.
• Eat healthy nutritious foods. They can make all the difference!
• Rest when you are tired.
• Drink when you are thirsty.
• Spend lots of time out in nature.
• Do things that make you happy.
• Reach out and ask for help when you need it.
• Give yourself a comfortable bed.
• Get a massage.
• Read things that make your life better.
• Listen to things that add value and make you feel alive.
• Watch things that add value and make you feel good.

Which leads right into the art of..

(10) Being Willing

Part of loving yourself requires exploring the nature of being willing.

You can ask yourself this question: What is the nature of experiencing willingness?

True freedom requires willingness.

To be willing requires that you give your consent to release reluctance and resistence.

It is a decision and choice that takes focus, concentration and honesty within yourself.

• Am I really willing to be free?
• Or is there’s a little part of me that still wants to hold on to how I am now? I’m used to it and I feel more comfortable here because it’s “the known”?

Neither one of these is right or wrong, it’s simply the truth of where you are now.

Even 10 seconds of being truly willing, can shift the direction that you have been going in.

The  power of willingness is highly underestimated.

You may not even notice the results at first, but I guarantee that if you actually are willing,

things will start to change.

It takes at least 10 full seconds of true willingness to ignite the changes that you want.

(11) Reach out for support

Reaching out for support may sound easy, but when you are feeling isolated, alone and lacking self confidence, it can often seem hardest to do.

Do it anyway!

   

For example:

Reach out to a friend or someone who you trust.

Confide in them.

There is something magic that happens when you reach out.

It pops a certain isolation that it is easy to get lost in.

Sharing and getting touched by another person is a very important part of getting  free.

Congratulations on your commitment to truly know what it means to love yourself no matter what the evidence!

I encourage you to be gentle on yourself and take time you need to assimilate and integrate what you have learned.

Let it be an unraveling.

And as you continue to confide in yourself, accept where you are, and do what it takes to love yourself, you will be building the foundation where your freedom thrives.

CLICK HERE to book an appointment for a 15 minute free consultation to ask me any questions that you may have.

 To your freedom,

Thoughts on living in an integral universe that is in a constant state of giving and receiving.

A time to  remember that what we give and receive touches everyone and everything in some way.

A wonderful question to ask yourself about giving and receiving as you enjoy the holidays:

• What is the nature of experiencing giving and receiving in the most beneficial, loving, nurturing and empowering ways possible?

You might be thinking,”How can I bring more awareness and purpose into what I am giving and receiving this holiday?

This short exercise may help you to answer that question:

Exercise:

• Close your eyes.
• Take a deep breath in.
• Be aware of your existence in space.
• What you are giving and receiving by just being here?
• Notice the air that you are breathing and giving to your lungs, which gives oxygenated blood to your heart…and is given and received throughout all of your body.
• Notice oxygen you receive from the trees, and the carbon dioxide you give back to the world when you breathe out.
• Notice the energy that you are giving just by being alive sharing the essence of your being, and receiving the essence of the beings that surround you.
• Notice the thoughts you give and receiving.

What else are you giving and receiving?

Open your eyes, and ask yourself, “What am I learning ?”

Think about it?

Science is showing us that there is no place that we are disconnected or separate from anything or anyone.

We are literally all connected!

There is no such thing as being separate.

There are molecules of air and particles of energy that connect us even though they are not visible with our eyes.

If you are like me, sometimes the truth of that is hard to imagine.

And then I think about how all the cells in my body are connected:

• Each of your cells has it’s own unique purpose, which allows you body to function in all the ways it does.
• And each of your cells has it’s own boundaries, it’s own cell walls, to keep the integrity of itself  intact.
• Each of these cells is totally interconnected and nowhere is it separate from the whole of your body.
• And all of us are cells of the bigger Whole that we are interconnected and inseparable from.

Look at these two hands with that in mind.

Giving to the whole universe can be as simple as reaching out and taking someone’s hand.

Awesome, isn’t it?

Imagine all the things you could be giving!

Here are some ideas that just came to my mind:

• Support
• Time and energy
• Participation
• Reference points
• Education
• Encouragement
• Ideas
• Gratitude
• Appreciation
• Birth
• Silence
• Sounds
• Music
• Contribution
• Enjoyment
• Thoughts
• Inspiration
• Stories
• Forgiveness
• Love
• Experiences
• Dancing
• Opportunities
• Feedback
• Laughter

The essence of a recently published article by David Brooks, “Why Elders Smile”

I smiled when I read this article. I love how our freedom keeps growing as we spin through space around a great ball of fire.

“When researchers ask people to assess their own well-being, people in their 20s rate themselves highly. Then there’s a decline as people get sadder in middle age, bottoming out around age 50. But then happiness levels shoot up, so that old people are happier than young people. The people who rate themselves most highly are those ages 82 to 85″.

David goes onto to say, “I’d rather think that elder happiness is an accomplishment, not a condition, that people get better at living through effort, by mastering specific skills. I’d like to think that people get steadily better at handling life’s challenges”.

And here’s a list of David’s thoughts on why so many elder rank themselves as happiest in their later ages:

(1) They’ve learned how “to perform at least one social role well … being a good parent or teacher or lawyer or friend.”

(2) “The ability to see the same situation from multiple perspectives. Only with experience can a person learn to see a fraught situation both close up, with emotional intensity, and far away, with detached perspective.”

(3) Having learned that “most setbacks are not the end of the world”.

(4) “Anxiety is the biggest waste in life. If you know that you’ll recover, you can save time and get on with it sooner”.

(5) The ability to” balance tension”s (i.e. as in performing many social roles means balancing competing demands). This form of wisdom can only be earned by acquiring a repertoire of similar experiences.

(6) “Experienced heads have intuitive awareness of the landscape of reality, a feel for what other people are thinking and feeling, an instinct for how events will flow”

CLICK HERE if you’d like to read the full article.

May we all experience more and more well being as we grow,