Archive | October, 2017

Embracing the Hater Within

October 30, 2017


Haters are usually thought of as people who greatly dislike and criticize a person, group or thing. Haters are are often talked about, shamed and blamed for many of the problems in the world. As we look for resolution we often overlook the part of us that is secretly a hater too. We may be hating ourselves or others who we believe are ruining our lives. We may be hating ourselves for wondering if bombing, exterminating and imprisoning haters might be the best way to get rid of them. We also may be hating the vulnerability and powerlessness we feel about not having control over the thoughts, feelings and behavior of others in world. What if we decide to acknowledge and embrace the hater within? What if acknowledge the reflection of hate that we see in the world to learn more about ourselves and others? What if we set our hater free to be a loving catalyst for the changes we want to see in the world?

Examples of how to embrace and set our hater free.

  • Releasing the belief that hating is bad or wrong. Bringing understanding into hate as an emotion that rises up inside to alert us that it time to make a change. It starts with irritation, annoyance, frustration, anger and eventually grows to hate and crisis if we do not respond to ourselves. Wherever we find ourselves hating we can embrace, express and love it back to love and wellness.
  • Allowing the hater within to express how it thinks, feels and behaves. Once we learn how connect and embrace the hater inside we can bring compassion and love to any hateful condition. A great exercise is to find a safe space to express the word hate. Start by pronouncing the word out loud as haaaaaaaaaa-te (sounds like hay-te).Then turn up the volume (hitting some pillows or yelling it into a cupped hand can speed up the process). Notice how expressing the sound opens up a pathway from the throat down to the spine. Now listen while we let the hater speak. Respond when we are ready. Vibration and interaction brings love, compassion and understanding to wherever we want and need it.
  • Engaging in lots of physical, mental and emotional movement. Dancing, singing, running, walking, breathing and whatever shifts our vibration to alignment with self and source. This creates space for something new to happen and change beliefs such as haters are “just who they are” to “all beings are love and always will be”.
  • Staying connected to ourselves, our source and the internal guidance system that we each have to guide us to peace, love and freedom.
  • Noticing if we are trying to ignore our true feelings about haters. Ignoring makes hate crop up with greater force and persistence as in mass shootings, growing numbers of hate groups and other forms of unrest and violence.
  • Acknowledging that we live in an addicted society that promotes the avoidance of feelings. Much of our society tries to drink, drug and bomb hate away. Pushing  parts of ourselves away drains our power and can leave us feeling powerless and hateful. Leaders such as Diamond and River Jameson, founders of the leading edge process, Living Freedom, show us how taking full responsibility for reclaiming the reflection of the hate that we see in our world. Taking full responsibility is the key to bringing forth a new context of living that supports love wellness for all beings.
  •  Learning not to take our hater personally. Letting go of using haters (whether inside or out) for keeping the addictive cycle of hatred going. Releasing fixation on hate to focus our energy on allowing resolution.
  • Noticing if we are carrying peace signs along with hate signs. Hate signs about corporations, politicians or whoever we think is disrupting our peace. The vibrational energy we have for whatever sign we carry perpetuates more of what we want or do not want
  • Reaching out in conversations with others. Asking questions about the motivation behind hate. What is behind wishing someone would die as a way to resolve an uncomfortable condition? Behind every hater is a story. We all are love no matter what the evidence.
  • Envisioning a loving and peaceful world. Trusting that the hate and crisis in the world is part of what is ultimately guiding us to love.
  • Asking powerful questions such as what is the nature of experiencing a world free of hate?
  • Remembering we do not need to have all the answers. Wherever there is a problem there is a resolution.

To the power of our emotions,


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Anger as a Path To Peace

October 6, 2017


Anger is rising as we make an enormous shift in human consciousness. If we look outside of ourselves to find resolution we feel angry that we are not able to control how others think and behave. If we try to hold back the anger we create an internal war within ourselves. It is easy to forget that anger is an ally that alerts us to when we need to make a change, a change that can lead us to a path of peace.

We know that change starts with each of us. We know we need to change our perspective on to how communicate and behave with others in the world. The question is how do we use anger in a safe and constructive way? Some say to control the anger and some say express it. Some say learn to forgive, think positive and meditate. Some think that anger leading to violence is and inevitable part of the human experience.

What if we embraced our anger as an ally? What if we embraced it as a signal that guides us in our aliveness? What if we listened to it’s signals at “point easy” when our anger is still frustration or annoyance? What if acknowledge when we hold back and turn our anger into resentment and upheaval with ourselves and others? What if we stop festering anger into self-hate and directing it toward others? What if we rememberthat we can only love and accept others as much we are loving and accepting ourselves?

What if we use our anger in the following constructive ways?

(1) Acknowledge the nature of the addictive culture we live in. A culture which promotes  work addiction, drugs, movies and violence as a way to avoid and deal with our emotions. An example is the unhealthy ideal of masculinity boys have often been taught to live up to. An ideal tells men that real men should do everything on their own, not cry and express their anger through violence.

(2) Cultivate the ability to express our feelings in a safe and nurturing place. Try out this exercise…

•Find an appropriate place to express the word hate (as it sounds).

•Think of someone that triggers anger.

•Notice what happens when you express the haaaaaa part of hate (sounding like hay…exaggerate it) all the way down your throat and down to the end of your spine.

•Explore hitting some pillows or holding your hand over your mouth as you express.

•Open your jaws wide and end the sound with an abrupt te as you blow the air out.

•Notice how movement and vibration loosens control and  opens a new pathway.shutterstock_146971178

•If you express long enough (depending on how much you have held back) might find yourself bursting into tears wondering how you could have done or said what you did.

•You have opened to love, compassion, space to change beliefs and allow something new to happen.

(3) Distinguish the difference between toxic and healthy anger. Healthy anger is a desire to make a change. It also alerts us when we need to have healthier boundaries. Toxic anger is when we choose to use our anger to destroy ourselves and others.

(4) Discover the difference between discerning and judging. Discerning is observation of ourselves or others. Judgement is deciding that there is something inherently wrong and bad with what we see.

(5) Cultivate the ability to see from different perspectives and different levels of consciousness. Learn how people differ in their values and different ways of resolving anger and conflict. Don Edward Beck, author of Spiral Dynamics, describes an evolutionary model that is supporting responsible leadership for peace around the world. It is a great way to bring understanding and compassion into the dynamic interaction between people and culture.

(6) Be willing to admit that we do not have all the answers.

(7) Stay connected to our source and internal guidance system. Remember that all beings are all connected with the same universal intelligence.

(8) Trust the process.

(9) Understand that perturbation is necessary for evolution. There is a natural time of unrest and chaos as we breakdown the old and breakthrough to the new.

(10) Be open to change our minds, beliefs and values. Through conversation and reaching out to others we can learn about their humanness and desire for a better world.

(11) Assume that people are good at heart. All humans have a life that has been shaped in many different ways. Learn to understand where they are coming from and let them know that they are being heard.

(12) Cultivate the ability to have a peaceful argument. Let people know how you feel and how you came to your conclusion.

To allowing the path to resolution,



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