Tag Archives: whining

End the complaining?

February 28, 2016


Have you ever decided to stop your complaining?

I’ve decided several times and today I found myself complaining about the highway traffic.

“Annoying, stinky, polluting, too fast” and on and on.

Suddenly I’d gone from enjoying the beautiful day to being dull and grouchy…


I wanted my beautiful day back!

Hmmmmmm, I quieted my mind and asked myself,

“What does the flow of traffic reminded me of?”

“The bloodstream of life” is what popped into my head.

A freeway flowing just as the blood cells do in my body.

Blood delivering  nutrients and removing unwanted things.

My focus shifted to appreciating the blood flowing through me…my energy going with the flow.

YAY, I did it! Back to my wonderful day of  trusting life…knowing all is well.

Evolution is happening and ending my complaining around too much traffic is being part of the resolution rather than being part of the problem (complaining polluting the energy pathways).

I started thinking about the nature of complaining…

Definition of “complaining”:

  • “To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction or resentment”
  • “Express annoyance or dissatisfaction about a state of affairs or an event”

Anonymous definition:

  • “Complaining is usually what people do when something displeases them.”
  • Most people would rather use a verbal indication to express their displeasure of a certain thing, rather than taking a stand and doing something about it”

Have you ever complained about trying to stop complaining?  It isn’t that easy! What is so bad about complaining anyway? Complaining comes naturally for humans doesn’t it?

  • But is it that easy?
  • What’s so bad about complaining, anyway?
  • “Griping comes naturally for humans, right?
  • “Evolution primes us to focus on the negative for self-defense”
  • “Swearing off something that comes naturally to us seems like a setup for failure”

With all of that in mind, “Whining comes with a cost”

says Jon Gordon in his book  “The No Complaining Rule”.

“When we complain, our brain releases stress hormones

harming neural connections in areas used for problem solving

and other cognitive functions.

This also happens when we listen to someone moan and groan.

“It’s as bad as secondhand smoke,” Gordon says.

“It’s secondhand complaining“.

 THE GOOD NEWS IS :  There’s a way to make a shift from complaining.

1.  Get clear on what complaining is.

“There’s lots of highway traffic” that’s an observation, right?

A complaint would be, “There’s lot’s of traffic, it’s crazy, ruining the world and making me feel miserable

2.  Notice how often you complain.

Has it become a habit?

3.  Notice what you complaining about.

Is there a way to resolve what you’re complaining about?

4. Ask yourself if complaining  is having

the effect you want to have on your relationships?

Are people starting to avoid you?

5.  Avoid hanging around with chronic complainers.

As soon as you do,  you’ll notice the chronic complainers

start to leave you alone because you aren’t

playing the complaining game anymore.

6. Be the resolution rather than part of the problem.  

7. Add an “and” to things that annoy you,

” I don’t like traffic, AND I love being able to get to where I want to go,

AND I like to get there fast”

8. Change any “shoulds” or “I have to”…

to “I choose to” or “I get to”

To your power to choose,




Contact me with any questions you may have:

Email: crystalpresence@earthlink.net

Book an appointment for a free consolation with me:

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Call me at:  520-907-6864









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