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Embracing the Hater Within

October 30, 2017


Haters are usually thought of as people who greatly dislike and criticize a person, group or thing. Haters are are often talked about, shamed and blamed for many of the problems in the world. As we look for resolution we often overlook the part of us that is secretly a hater too. We may be hating ourselves or others who we believe are ruining our lives. We may be hating ourselves for wondering if bombing, exterminating and imprisoning haters might be the best way to get rid of them. We also may be hating the vulnerability and powerlessness we feel about not having control over the thoughts, feelings and behavior of others in world. What if we decide to acknowledge and embrace the hater within? What if acknowledge the reflection of hate that we see in the world to learn more about ourselves and others? What if we set our hater free to be a loving catalyst for the changes we want to see in the world?

Examples of how to embrace and set our hater free.

  • Releasing the belief that hating is bad or wrong. Bringing understanding into hate as an emotion that rises up inside to alert us that it time to make a change. It starts with irritation, annoyance, frustration, anger and eventually grows to hate and crisis if we do not respond to ourselves. Wherever we find ourselves hating we can embrace, express and love it back to love and wellness.
  • Allowing the hater within to express how it thinks, feels and behaves. Once we learn how connect and embrace the hater inside we can bring compassion and love to any hateful condition. A great exercise is to find a safe space to express the word hate. Start by pronouncing the word out loud as haaaaaaaaaa-te (sounds like hay-te).Then turn up the volume (hitting some pillows or yelling it into a cupped hand can speed up the process). Notice how expressing the sound opens up a pathway from the throat down to the spine. Now listen while we let the hater speak. Respond when we are ready. Vibration and interaction brings love, compassion and understanding to wherever we want and need it.
  • Engaging in lots of physical, mental and emotional movement. Dancing, singing, running, walking, breathing and whatever shifts our vibration to alignment with self and source. This creates space for something new to happen and change beliefs such as haters are “just who they are” to “all beings are love and always will be”.
  • Staying connected to ourselves, our source and the internal guidance system that we each have to guide us to peace, love and freedom.
  • Noticing if we are trying to ignore our true feelings about haters. Ignoring makes hate crop up with greater force and persistence as in mass shootings, growing numbers of hate groups and other forms of unrest and violence.
  • Acknowledging that we live in an addicted society that promotes the avoidance of feelings. Much of our society tries to drink, drug and bomb hate away. Pushing  parts of ourselves away drains our power and can leave us feeling powerless and hateful. Leaders such as Diamond and River Jameson, founders of the leading edge process, Living Freedom, show us how taking full responsibility for reclaiming the reflection of the hate that we see in our world. Taking full responsibility is the key to bringing forth a new context of living that supports love wellness for all beings.
  •  Learning not to take our hater personally. Letting go of using haters (whether inside or out) for keeping the addictive cycle of hatred going. Releasing fixation on hate to focus our energy on allowing resolution.
  • Noticing if we are carrying peace signs along with hate signs. Hate signs about corporations, politicians or whoever we think is disrupting our peace. The vibrational energy we have for whatever sign we carry perpetuates more of what we want or do not want
  • Reaching out in conversations with others. Asking questions about the motivation behind hate. What is behind wishing someone would die as a way to resolve an uncomfortable condition? Behind every hater is a story. We all are love no matter what the evidence.
  • Envisioning a loving and peaceful world. Trusting that the hate and crisis in the world is part of what is ultimately guiding us to love.
  • Asking powerful questions such as what is the nature of experiencing a world free of hate?
  • Remembering we do not need to have all the answers. Wherever there is a problem there is a resolution.

To the power of our emotions,


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Anger as a Path To Peace

October 6, 2017


Anger is rising as we make an enormous shift in human consciousness. If we look outside of ourselves to find resolution we feel angry that we are not able to control how others think and behave. If we try to hold back the anger we create an internal war within ourselves. It is easy to forget that anger is an ally that alerts us to when we need to make a change, a change that can lead us to a path of peace.

We know that change starts with each of us. We know we need to change our perspective on to how communicate and behave with others in the world. The question is how do we use anger in a safe and constructive way? Some say to control the anger and some say express it. Some say learn to forgive, think positive and meditate. Some think that anger leading to violence is and inevitable part of the human experience.

What if we embraced our anger as an ally? What if we embraced it as a signal that guides us in our aliveness? What if we listened to it’s signals at “point easy” when our anger is still frustration or annoyance? What if acknowledge when we hold back and turn our anger into resentment and upheaval with ourselves and others? What if we stop festering anger into self-hate and directing it toward others? What if we rememberthat we can only love and accept others as much we are loving and accepting ourselves?

What if we use our anger in the following constructive ways?

(1) Acknowledge the nature of the addictive culture we live in. A culture which promotes  work addiction, drugs, movies and violence as a way to avoid and deal with our emotions. An example is the unhealthy ideal of masculinity boys have often been taught to live up to. An ideal tells men that real men should do everything on their own, not cry and express their anger through violence.

(2) Cultivate the ability to express our feelings in a safe and nurturing place. Try out this exercise…

•Find an appropriate place to express the word hate (as it sounds).

•Think of someone that triggers anger.

•Notice what happens when you express the haaaaaa part of hate (sounding like hay…exaggerate it) all the way down your throat and down to the end of your spine.

•Explore hitting some pillows or holding your hand over your mouth as you express.

•Open your jaws wide and end the sound with an abrupt te as you blow the air out.

•Notice how movement and vibration loosens control and  opens a new pathway.shutterstock_146971178

•If you express long enough (depending on how much you have held back) might find yourself bursting into tears wondering how you could have done or said what you did.

•You have opened to love, compassion, space to change beliefs and allow something new to happen.

(3) Distinguish the difference between toxic and healthy anger. Healthy anger is a desire to make a change. It also alerts us when we need to have healthier boundaries. Toxic anger is when we choose to use our anger to destroy ourselves and others.

(4) Discover the difference between discerning and judging. Discerning is observation of ourselves or others. Judgement is deciding that there is something inherently wrong and bad with what we see.

(5) Cultivate the ability to see from different perspectives and different levels of consciousness. Learn how people differ in their values and different ways of resolving anger and conflict. Don Edward Beck, author of Spiral Dynamics, describes an evolutionary model that is supporting responsible leadership for peace around the world. It is a great way to bring understanding and compassion into the dynamic interaction between people and culture.

(6) Be willing to admit that we do not have all the answers.

(7) Stay connected to our source and internal guidance system. Remember that all beings are all connected with the same universal intelligence.

(8) Trust the process.

(9) Understand that perturbation is necessary for evolution. There is a natural time of unrest and chaos as we breakdown the old and breakthrough to the new.

(10) Be open to change our minds, beliefs and values. Through conversation and reaching out to others we can learn about their humanness and desire for a better world.

(11) Assume that people are good at heart. All humans have a life that has been shaped in many different ways. Learn to understand where they are coming from and let them know that they are being heard.

(12) Cultivate the ability to have a peaceful argument. Let people know how you feel and how you came to your conclusion.

To allowing the path to resolution,



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Governing Ourselves and Our World

September 23, 2017


In turbulent times we find ourselves wondering if human beings will allow the Earth be a place where all living things can live in harmony. We long for a collective experience of governing where war and destruction are no longer a way to create resolution. We ask ourselves how we can participate as part of the resolution while releasing ourselves from being part of the problem.

The first step in making this change is the willingness to see things from a different perspective. It means changing beliefs about the essential nature of human beings and asking ourselves what it will take to truly humanize the world.

It means understanding that we already have everything we need to turn things around and we can…

  1. Embrace the turbulence inside of ourselves, taking full responsibility for our manifestation from our inside out. Asking ourselves if we are part of perpetuating a government that is not of, by and for the people.
  2. Be leaders of change by changing the way we lead ourselves. Begin by having a meeting with ourselves. Set our four sitting pillows. One for ourselves as the spirit that is making the decisions for ourselves. The other three pillows act as our emotions, body and heart. Start a conversation with each of them. Ask them how they feel about their lives and how we are governing them. Listen to what they have to say. For example, a response from our emotions might be, “I’m tired of being repressed and pushed aside, then blamed for the oppression, suffering and powerlessness you feel. I am your inner guidance system and repressing me disempowers all aspects of us”. Our bodies might say, “You override and push me to exhaustion, I hate you!” Respond and continue until you come to resolution. Come to a place of governing ourselves in peace, freedom and building confidence in ourselves and others.
  3. Draw upon the wisdom of indigenous people, such as the Six Nations of the Iroquois people who comprise the oldest living participatory republic on earth. Their story is of a governance that is based on the consent of the governed and aligning with the wisdom of nature. Most people are not aware that the original United States representative democracy, fashioned by authors as Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, drew inspiration from these intelligent people.
  4. Allow the power of nature to guide us. With inspiration from the visionary Matt Powers, author and teacher, we clearly see the world through nature’s eyes. In his groundbreaking books and curriculums we can learn how to cultivate a deeper understanding of returning to a world of sustainability and regeneration..
  5. Cultivate awareness that we are all connected to the same source and that the resolutions are within each of us. Innovators such as Barbara Marx Hubbard, founder of The Conscious Evolution Institute, reminds us that can reimagine who we are as humans and change our future.
  6. Renew ourselves with knowing that yesterday is not the same as today. Allow our moment to moment choices to be part of the evolutionary expansion of what is possible.
  7. Embrace technology as part of a collective nervous system that is saying yes to change. Communicate with cultures around the world.
  8. Meditate. Create a silent space for ideas and inspiration to arise from the greater intelligence within each of us.
  9. Create a movement by to keeping our energy in movement. Allow our bodies to move as we open the space inside for new possibilities. Let go of trying to control and manipulate to have the changes we want.
  10. Attune to the evolutionary impulses that are awakening and alive within each of us. Change our perspective of conditions such as racism and terrorism.
  11. Acknowledge that we are equal and distinct individuals with a part to play in the whole. Support each person in their unique part of the resolution.
  12. Intend, envision and pray for all living being as the celebration of the dignity of our needs as living beings.
  13. Respect the nature of breakdown and breakthrough. As cultural media blows up the possibility of existential breakdown, we can stand in knowing that we are connected to a loving source that embraces us in the process of breakthrough.
  14. Notice if we are using people to get a “disgust fix”. We must ask ourselves if we habitually use politics, economics and other people to stay in the bodily felt sense of self importance, hate and disgust. Do we use those to cover up our own feelings of self rejection, anger and powerlessness to make the changes we want?
  15. Ask empowering questions,“What is the nature of experiencing myself as a catalyst for the beneficial changes I want to see in the world?”

To the power of being a catalyst in the world by being the changes we want,


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Withdrawal From An Old Continuity

June 7, 2017


In times of major change in the world we find ourselves looking for ways to stabilize and humanize our lives. We know we are entrenched in an old continuity, yet find ourselves wondering if “this just how life is”. There is also is a deep rooted fear that shifting our continuity might threaten our survival. We also know that whether the change is physical, mental or emotional, we experience withdrawal. In this case, we experience withdrawal from a self-defeating continuity to a context of well being and living freedom.

In a culture promoting lack of connection with self and and source, we yearn for a new context of living. Fortunately, there are many ways to shape our lives. Not only can we choose to survive, but also thrive. Many visionaries refer to this shift as “being in the culture, but not of it”. It requires the ability to observe, be present and willing to be making new choices of how we think, feel and take actions in our lives.

Jean Liedloff, author of “The Continuum Concept”, spent several years deep in the South American jungle living with the Stone Age Indians. Her experience changed her perception of human nature. She noticed how her own culture had lost much of it’s natural sense of well-being. She commented that , “I seldom had a clear sense that these people were of the same species as ours. The children were uniformly well-behaved, never fought, were never punished, always obeyed happily and instantly”. The children co-exited in the midst of strong, busy central figures to whom they were peripheral. Not surrounded by stressed out adults who are trying to control their behavior to seek acceptance and approval from their culture.

In the quest for appropriate experiences, more and more people are making the quality of their lives the highest priority. They are following their inner guidance while allowing the details of their vision to be revealed as the old continuity dissolves, resolves and evolves. They know if they continue to deny their internal guidance they may find themselves in the middle of crisis (i.e. getting sick, having accidents, getting a divorce etc). They understand that crisis is often a way to get a multidimensional kick in the butt to make the changes they have been wanting.

Withdrawal from an old continuity requires making a decision and  being fully presence. In a state of sobriety we build power and release ourselves from thinking we are powerless victims of our continuity. We can make powerful choices, focus, keep our energy in motion, shift our perceptions and realize the truth of how our lives can really be. We can experience the joy of a new context living by releasing ourselves from the old self defeating continuities such as…

  • Isolation
  • Obsessive work
  • Emotional reactivity
  • Thought patterns
  • Drive for success
  • Lies

How to embrace a new continuity…

  • Give ourselves time and space to establish new pathways. Release stored emotions, tension, toxins and other by-products of holding back.
  • Embrace and keep breathing through any discomfort we are feeling.
  • Ask the powerful question: What is the nature of experiencing the most beneficial context of living for myself and my world?
  • Connect with self and our source. Embrace the greater intelligence within us. Let it guide us to all we need.
  • Move, vibrate, circulate and release any tension and contraction in our bodies, emotions and minds. Open the space to change old self defeating beliefs and perceptions, while releasing reluctance and resistance.
  • Notice, integrate and take action on what is working.
  • Allow the process to unfold in it’s perfect timing. External changes happen on an energy level first.
  • Remember that pushing against hooks us to the problem instead of releasing us to the resolution.
  • Being curious about the continuities of other cultures.
  • Get clear on what makes us feel happy, free and fulfilled.
  • Connect with others who are wanting the same context of living that we want.
  • Love ourselves, no matter what the evidence.
  • Trust the process.
  • Focus on what we like about ourselves and others.
  • Embrace and draw upon the wisdom from our past. Release any guilt or held resentment.
  • Be aware of any secretly held control plans we use to prove that our old continuity is working.
  • Keep it simple! Addictive continuities make our lives feel complicated  powerless to change.
  • Remember that the parts of ourselves we tend to deny and repress are usually our greatest strengths.
  • Inspire ourselves with music, inspiring talks etc.
  • Spend lots of time in nature.
  • Be 100% (not 99.99%) willing to suspend the old continuity for at least 10 seconds to ignite a change.
  • Be aware that just before a change is about to happen,  we may be tempted to go back to how it was.
  • Allow ourselves the  joy of experiencing a new continuity.

To the power of choice and freedom,



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Disengaging the Addictive Control in an Addicted Society

April 18, 2017


We know we are in the biggest shift in human consciousness. We strive to be part of the resolution, yet with all our good intentions we find ourselves repeating what we know is part of the problem. We find ourselves engaging in our old controlling and addictive ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. When we get honest with ourselves, we admit to the voice inside telling us we are lying as a way to tolerate our lives.

We love the idea of letting go and going with the flow. At the same time we fear that our lives will fall apart and we will end up alone and die if we disengage from the addictive control.

Control has become the culturally acceptable way of dealing with our feelings of powerlessness. We sense the pervasiveness of how it affects our lives and our world. We look for pathways to create a new context of living and know we will be happier and healthier when we can do the following…

  • Remain present and honest with ourselves.
  • Admit when the jobs we have are not right for us.
  • Spend our days doing the things we love to do.
  • Spend more time with the people we love.
  • Take better care of ourselves.
  • Let go thinking what we should do and allow ourselves to follow our internal guidance system.

Ann Wilson Schaef author of “When Society Becomes an Addict” says, “Not only does our society invite addiction, it requires addiction to tolerate the society we have created”.

Addiction is how we distract, control and disconnect ourselves from the truth of what we are really thinking, feeling and doing. When we feel powerlessness to stop the addiction, we are tempted to lie about it. Whether it is an ingestive addiction (drugs, nicotine, alcohol, etc) or a process addiction (obsessive thinking, worrying, self generated feelings, money etc), addiction interferes with our natural life processes. It interferes with our thinking, feeling and internal guidance system that is our natural way of knowing what is good for us.

The following are how addictions erode our connection with ourselves and others:

  • Dishonesty: Lying to ourselves and others.
  • Self Centeredness:  Thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that are motivated out of our need to control everyone and everything. Believing that others are either for or against us.
  • Illusion of Control. Thinking can be in control of everyone and everything.

Notice how these very same addictive choices are rampant in our politics, media, education, corporations, medical institutions and other aspects of our society. Most of us can relate to this, yet find it elusive to grasp the subtle and pervasive ways that addiction has a grip on us. We wonder how to know if we are addicted. The simplest answer is that we know.

Intimacy with ourselves is the key to disengaging from the addictive control. People fear that letting go of addiction will be hard. The truth, however, is that trying to keep everything under control is the hardest and most destructive thing we can do to ourselves.  Disengaging from the addictive control is one of the easiest most natural things we can do.

The following are some of the ways we can disengage and free ourselves from the addictive control…

  • Cultivate the awareness that we are literally connected to all that is.
  • Realize that we are vast multidimensional beings connected to the loving source that is creating us.
  • Admit and feel any powerlessness.
  • Engage in enjoyable movement to keep our energy flowing and open to change.
  • Spend time with ourselves.
  • Let go of thinking that life is static and it is our responsibility to get it under control.
  • Become aware of any addictive control plans we use to keep selecting, distorting and provoking our reality so we can prove to ourselves that we need to stay in addictive control to survive.
  • Release ourselves and others as objects that need to be controlled and fixed.
  • Let go of any addictive intellectual constructs, methodologies, interpretations, rational or logical constructs that keep us fixated in an old context of living.
  • Connect with our internal guidance system to find the way to what is best for us.
  • Let go of trying to be perfect, right and done.
  • Allow our life process to unfold and reveal itself in the perfect time, place and form.
  • Surround ourselves others who want to join us in the journey.
  • Be aware of the withdrawal experience. Keep our energy moving to allow space for the old habits to dissolve, resolve and evolve.
  • Receive our power to co-create with our loving source the lives of joy, creativity, fun, ease, abundance and wellness we want.

To Freedom,



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From Fixation to Living in Freedom

April 13, 2017


Freedom is referred to as the power to think, feel or act without restraint. People often restrict their freedom by fixating their attention, feelings and behaviors on someone or something. Fixating is a way to distract and avoid the truth of what is really happening. We go from feeling happy and free to feeling miserable and restricted.

It is not uncommon to hear people say, “If only that person were different I would feel happy and free.” Most people have at least one person who annoys, bugs or hooks them into fixating in some way.

A good example is Fixation Fanny who is particularly fixated on her co-worker, Julie. Fanny thinks Julie is self important. Fanny gets a “disgust fix” every time she thinks about Julie. Fanny then moves to another city and is glad she will never see Julie again. She soon meets Larry at her new job. Larry likes to tell sarcastic jokes which is a perfect reason for Fanny to fixate and carry on with her habitual disgust fixes.

Fixation takes an enormous amount of energy and drains our power to be creative and expand our consciousness. The most common fixations are guilt, stress, suffering and feeling barely alive. Fixations make our lives feel like a burdensome task while waiting for the impending experience called death.

Sorcerer-seers such as Don Juan and Carlos Castaneda have referred to our ability to shift between difference states of consciousness as “shifting the assemblage point”. Generation after generation of fixating at any certain assemblage point makes it feel that there is only one “real world”. Don Juan referred to this phenomena as “the “modality of the time”. A modality is held together by a mass agreement field, both verbal and telepathic, our belief systems and judgements.

A good example is guilt. Notice what happens when we feel guilty. Our breathing becomes shallow and we fixate our energy. If the guilt is about our children, they see us fixated in guilt when we look at them. It starts a process of wondering about what’s so wrong about them that their parent feels so guilty about them. This is the classic of example of the how the assemblage point of guilt is passed on generation to generation.

The good news is that we have the power to shift our assemblage points to a place of freedom, love, pleasure, joy and full aliveness. A great question to ask ourselves is: What is nature of experiencing freedom from my inside out?

Noticing when we are fixated can be illusive. It seems normal to be having a wonderful day and suddenly without even noticing it, we slow down our breathing and begin to feel out of sorts with ourselves. We start to wonder what is wrong with us and look for ways to get back to our happy day. Most of us can relate to the classic behavior heading to the refrigerator to find that special something that will fix the way we feel.

The following are great examples of how we can go from a sense of happy and free to feeling restricted and unhappy.

  • Having a delicious meal to fixating in guilt about eating it.
  • Happy mode to complaining mode.
  • Self content to conjuring up something to worry about.
  • Relaxed to fixating on pushing ourselves to exhaustion..
  • Loving ourselves to fixating on criticism.
  • Happy to fixating on something to be angry about.
  • Equanimity to fixating on self generated feelings.
  • Ease to fixating on the bad news in the media.
  • Ease to fixating on sad love songs.
  • Fun conversation to fixating on trying to convince.
  • Great fun day to fixating about all the things we should be doing.
  • Being abundant to fixating on what we do not have.

The following are some of the quickest ways we can go from fixation to living in freedom…

  • Breathe!
  • Get our energy moving!
  • What could we be doing if we were not using my energy to fixate?
  • Do something we enjoy.
  • Take action on our creative ideas.
  • Reach out and connect with someone we trust.
  • Love yourself, no matter what the evidence.
  • Think, feel and do things that make us laugh about ourselves.
  • Think about  things we enjoy and respect about ourselves.
  • If our blood sugar is low get something to eat.
  • Rest if you are tired.
  • Release fixated beliefs like “This is how life is” and “This is the way I am”.
  • Allow withdrawal from our old fixated continuity.
  • Expand beyond our upper limits of what we think reality is.

To our freedom,



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Safety From the Inside Out

March 5, 2017


IMG_3517As we first came into the world, we came forth within the flow of a greater intelligence guiding us in the manifestation of our physical bodies. As we emerged from the womb and we were met with variety of conditions, some feeling good, some uncomfortable and frightening. We set out on the journey of discovering who we are and how to feel safe in our lives.

In times of not feeling safe, we conjured up ways to control ourselves to soften the truth of what was really happening. We assembled an illusion that our caretakers were keeping us safe and meeting our needs. We looked inward to fix what we thought must be wrong with us. We  focused our anger (our strong desire for change) inward. Turning anger in on ourselves which soon turned into self rejection. To cover up the self rejection we also developed up a false sense of self importance.

A good example is Julie and John. Their parents had been too busy to adequately meet their needs. Nor did they give them the natural experience of safety called bonding. Julie and John were quick to assemble an illusion that they were safe, connected and bonded. They also assembled a false sense of independence, thinking they had to take care of themselves since no one else was.  Now as adults when Julie and John feel threatened in their relationship, their illusion of safety gets triggered. The more they try to keep their illusion in place, the more they feel disconnected and separate from one another and their world. Julie cries and criticizes herself which is provoking to John and their relationship is deteriorating. John acts out by rising up to feel self important which is also provoking. They also try to control each other for fear their illusions are falling apart. They are so wrapped up in keeping their illusion in place, they fail recognize that the illusion is what keeps them feeling threatened and unsafe.

Robert Firestone, author of “The Fantasy Bond”, refers to this phenomena as “fantasy bonding”. A fantasy of safety that is held in place by attracting, distorting and provoking one’s reality. From his perspective all the labels we call mental illness such as neurosis, schizophrenia, etc. are different levels of the fantasy bond. The more deprivation and abuse we had, the more isolated and “crazy” we feel.

Resolving the fantasy bond is tricky. We set up our fantasy bond in such a way as to keep it hidden from ourselves and others. We mediate, do therapy, go to workshops and still do not feel that we get to the core of it. We bounce back to feeling uptight, controlling and disconnected. We see it reflected in our families, politics, corporations, institutions and other systems.

We know the resolution is within us, yet we still wonder how can we be sure we are really safe? Are we willing to uncover the truth of how we assemble our illusions of safety? Are we dis-appoint-ing ourselves by missing our appointments with power to co-create the safety available to us?

The following is a Gestalt exercise for creating safety inside…

•Gather four pillows.

•Sit on one and put the other three in front of you.

•You be the spirit that is guiding a conversation with your body, emotions, mind and heart.

•Let each part speak and express their feelings and concerns about being part of you. For example, your emotions may feel angry that you try to control and avoid them. Then you respond from your perspective as their spirit.

•Let all the aspects interact with each other in a similar way.

•Acknowledge that you are empowering yourself.

•Keep it going until you arrive at a sense of resolution, safety and alignment inside.

•Receive the joy of creating safety within yourself while being a catalyst for safety in your world.

More tips on creating our safety from the inside out…

•Move, express and circulate your energy.

•Embrace the truth that you are connected to a loving source who is always there to guide you in being safe.

Move, express and circulate your energy.

•Trust your internal guidance system.

•Change beliefs about safety and how to create it.

•Notice any need to have to control yourself or others to feel safe.

•Change the belief that someone needs to save you.

•Conjure up the bodily felt sense of safety and practice it.

•Avoid movies, media and stories that perpetuate fear.

•Read the book, “The Wisdom Of The Enneagram” by Riso and Hudson, a great source of revealing the strength of your essential self by recognizing the many different thoughts, feelings and behaviors used to keep the illusion of control and lack of safety in place.

•Ask the question, “What is the nature of experiencing safety from my inside out?”



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Changing at Point Easy or Point Crisis?

January 7, 2017


Change is part of life. Our environment, bodies, feelings, thoughts, behaviors and relationships are always in a process of change. The question is how much power do we have to guide that change? Can we make the change at the point where change is easy or do we need to go to the point of crisis to make the change?

People have a reputation for ignoring, denying and procrastinating when it comes to making change. Rather than addressing issues head on and coming to a quick and easy resolution, we often ignore the issues, dismiss our thoughts, suppress our feelings and justify our behaviors. Eventually the denial builds up and explodes in the form of a crisis where we are forced to feel, express and address what we have been avoiding. A simple example is, instead of listening and responding to our anger (the natural signal alerting us to the fact that we want a change), we stub our toe. Now we have a darn good reason to feel angry, yell and demand a change!

The habit of choosing at point crisis is reflected back to us in some of the following ways…

  • Nuclear bombs. A container of compressed energy ready to explode in a reactive moment of repressed anger about the changes we want.
  • Environmental pollution. The result of not addressing and cleaning up the issues we have within ourselves.
  • War. The struggle, pain and conflict going on inside ourselves we take into our relationships, families, communities and the world.

People in crisis often say…

  • “Why didn’t I listen, I knew this was going to happen?!?”
  • “ If only I had fixed it right away!”

The question is whether we want to change at point easy or at point crisis? If deep inside we know we are lying to ourselves, why do we secretly hold back until crisis?  The following are some of the common beliefs that perpetuate change at point crisis…

  • Crisis is an unavoidable part of life.
  • Relationships are hard and disappointing in nature, so it is best to ignore and go along with things to make it easier.
  • Change is hard and painful so better to stick with the status quo.

The following are some ways we can make a change at point easy…

  • Focusing on our potential rather than on our problems.
  • Creating moments of discomfort. Dr. Marcia Reynolds, well known organizational coach and author of The Discomfort Zone, says moments of uncertainty can disrupt our habitual brain patterns and opens us to new ways of looking at things and making change. Observing ourselves with curiosity and calling upon others we trust can facilitate this process. A simple example is Mary who had been complaining and whining about the people in her life. A trusted friend suddenly said, “Do you think anyone will ever be good enough for you?” Mary was stunned by the question and had some moments of nervous laughter until a new insight about herself emerged. Mary’s friend stayed present with her to help her stabilize as her defenses broke down and allowed her brain to reorganize and make sense of what was happening. Soon she was able see some new possibilities for making change.
  • Engaging in different modalities of movement. Diamond and River Jameson, creators of the Total Integration Institute, have been pioneers in making deep and sustainable change at point easy. They use dancing, expression of feelings and other modalities of movement and as quick and easy way to release contraction and other addictive ways of holding back. A simple example: Justin was lonely and depressed. He was having a hard time making change in his life and letting go of limiting beliefs about himself. He started dancing, vibrating and safely expressing his feelings. Suddenly he realized how he had been judging and rejecting himself in many ways. Opening up with movement created the space to change his perspective and experience himself an inspiring catalyst for change in the world.
  • Loving ourselves no matter what the evidence. Embracing any holding back we are doing, letting go of trying to figure it out and allowing our loving source to gently guide us in the changes that we want.
  • Embracing our fear.  Understanding that fear as a signal to slow down, get present and let go of pushing and proceed when we are ready to make the change.
  • Asking powerful questions such as, “What is the nature of experiencing change as a natural, fun and empowering part of my life?

To the power of making change at point easy,


Feel free to contact me at (520) 907-6864.

or message me at

or make an appointment for a free 30 minute consultation with me at


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Shifting Our Perception About Addiction

November 22, 2016


Throughout history addiction has been perceived in many ways. Today we refer to addiction as a habitual misuse of physical substances, thought processes and behaviors. It is often perceived with the stigma of sickness, weakness and lack of morality.

People are now understanding that labeling, shaming and humiliating is the last thing someone needs to return to wellness. With all of our best intentions, most of us look for ways to escape from stress, anxiety and worry. We want to feel happy, relaxed and relational. We want to be loving fun people who feel good about life. Culture even goes so far as to promote a “happy hour” as a time for letting go and feeling good. If we think we need a “happy hour” what does it mean about the rest of the hours in the the day?

Addictions stem from desire to fix the uncomfortable conditions in life, thus the expression getting a “fix”. We try to fix ourselves by “using” whatever seems to soothe the following conditions

  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Disconnected
  • Isolated and alone
  • Resentment
  • Self rejection
  • Trying to fix ourselves
  • Exhaustion
  • Emotional drama
  • Trying to be successful
  • Rebellion
  • Being critical of ourselves
  • Trying to stay in control
  • Obsessive thinking

Not only do these habits fail to create the experiences we want, they also are at the core of physical stress and hormonal imbalance in our bodies.

The following is list of ways we can shift our perception and choices around addiction:

• Loving ourselves no matter what the evidence. When we make mistakes we can choose to perceive them as “mis-takes” that we can learn from. We can let go of the “shoulds” in our lives and al- low ourselves to do the things we feel motivated and inspired to do.

• Making a decision. Once decide to free ourselves from addiction, the universe ignites to send us everything we want and need to make the changes we want.

• Reconnecting with our source. Discovering that resolution is not about trying to control or fix ourselves. It is about disengaging addictive control and allowing our loving source to guide and support us.

• Releasing fixation in our bodies. Noticing when we are trying to fix ourselves by constricting our breathe and bodies. Dancing, walking and expressing in fun and safe ways allows our energy to circulate and be free.

• Embracing and admitting what we have been doing opens the doors (admits us) to the life we want. Holly Witikar, creator of Hip Sobriety, says : “Sobriety is not just about quitting alcohol and drugs. It’s about getting after your best life and having everything you ever dreamed of. ”

• Discovering the nature of our essential selves. Wellness, freedom !and personal power are natural to us as human beings.

• Clarity about the difference between unhealthy and healthy shame. Unhealthy shame is the feeling that there is something es- sentially bad and wrong about us. Healthy shame is the feeling of knowing that the choices we are making are not the most beneficial choices for ourselves and everyone else involved.

• Understanding there is no perfect solution for everyone. We each have a unique and beautiful path. We can follow it by using our personal guidance system that connects us to our source with the greater intelligence.

• Changing beliefs and perceptions. A common belief not often talked about its: “If I admit and feel the powerlessness I am expe- riencing, I might discover that I am really powerless. So I better hold onto the any hope that I have so at least I have hope that I can be powerful.” We can change this belief by embracing, feeling and vibrating any powerlessness we feel and allowing the truth of powerful creator we are.

• Releasing the assumption that if we are sober we will not have a fun social life. The truth of the matter is that being sober and present attracts the kind of healthy empowered people we have al- !ways wanted to meet and be friends with.

• Allowing withdrawal from the addictive control may feel scary and uncomfortable at first. Hang in there! Walk, dance, sing and whatever you need to do to keep your energy moving and in alignment with your intent. Watch and feel your personal powercome flooding back in!

• Being willing to say “I don’t know”. Trust that as you keep letting go, the answers and solutions you want and need will come streaming in.
• Releasing ourselves from other people’s expectations. Exploring what motivates, inspires and makes us feel happy and alive.

• Creating relationships that are aligned with our intent. Giving ourselves the love and support of others who understand why we are making new choices and want to join us in being sober and present.
• Cultivating positive self talk. “I am making new choices and allowing the love, presence and personal power that is mine”.

To the power of sobriety,


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The Currency of Affluence

October 16, 2016


Throughout history, humans have strived for affluence, most often by accumulating money or wealth. Currency has been referred to as medium of exchange like gold, bank notes, or other physical things that people place value on. Today much of our currency is experienced as a digital movement going back and forth with no intrinsic value. The currency of affluence can also be perceived as a current of dreamstime_m_15643706income-ing energy moving through us. A current of incoming affluence coming directly from our connection with the source that creates and sustains us.

Some people experience affluence as a natural state of being. Others spend their lives hoping and dreaming that affluence will someday happen to them. They work hard and assume that lacking must be their lot in life. They often wonder if the affluent are hoarding some kind of secret they will never have access to. People who experience lacking sometimes envy, judge and assume that affluent people are crooked, selfish people that take all the wealth that should to be divided up with all the others on our planet.

Meanwhile, we all are witnessing flowers, trees, babies, technology and other forms of manifestation bursting into life around us. We ponder the nature of the source that creates us all and wonder how to harness that power. We want to experience that flow of affluence in our own lives. A question might be, “What is the nature of experiencing ourselves free of any holding back from the currency of affluence that available to us?”

By asking these questions, more and more people are coming to understand that an endless currency of affluence is accessible to everyone. It is how we think, feel and behave that makes the difference whether or not we experience the affluence available to us.

The following are 7 great ways to allow the currency of affluence to flow through us: 

(1) Asking powerful questions and receiving powerful answers. Notice how the following question is stated in the form of receiving the answer as the actual experience we want: “What is the nature of experiencing the currency of affluence flowing from my inside out?”

(2) Letting energy circulate freely through our bodies. Asking ourselves of we are stagnant or allowing a free flow of energy to circulate through us? Movement expands the space for changing how we think, feel and take action in our lives. Bradford Keeney’s book, “Shaking Medicine” is great testament to how movement has restored wellness and true affluence throughout human history.

(3) Admitting there is no secret. Acknowledging that deep inside we know the truth. We have the power to make changes in our lives. We can start by ask ourselves questions such as: “What is the nature of experiencing myself as sufficient enough to realize what I want in life?” Lynn Twist’s book, The Soul of Money, is a wonderful resource for discovering the truth of our sufficiency to be affluent.

(4) Exploring the unconscious habitual impulses of our personality. Instead of defending ourselves, we can embrace the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that perpetuate our lack of affluence. Our inner guidance system can introduce us to fresh approaches for becoming aware of whatever is holding us back. A wonderful the book, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, can help us see and resolve many of the details of how we resist, deny and deceive ourselves. Seeing ourselves so clearly may feel uncomfortable at first, and if we hang in there, we can see the humor in it all

(5) Conjuring up the bodily felt sense of how it feels to be affluent. Imagining how it would feel to be affluent with the currency of affluence moving through us. Allowing ourselves to bring forth a wonderful sense of well being, with new ideas and solutions flowing effortlessly into our lives.

(6)  Cultivating a network of people who we can call upon when we want support. Creating affluence with influence. We probably already have friends, neighbors, business associates and acquaintances who we have influence with. When you meet or see one of them, discover if  there is any way you can be supportive.

(7) Having affluent conversations with ourselves. Appreciating the affluence that is already present in our lives. Acknowledging that our lives are always changing and talking to ourselves from an affluent point of view. Noticing if our conversations with ourselves are about what is missing or how we are excited about opening the flood gates to all the possibilities that are available to us.

(8) Willingness. Willingness is the art of suspending thoughts, feelings and any holding back we feel in our bodies. It is the art of allowing something new to happen. A good 10 seconds of pure willingness can get the ball rolling!

To the power of allowing affluent currency to move through us,

Crystal Presence


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