A wonderful quote about “Self Esteem” for children…

“Every action your children make is an attempt to meet their needs.

This is true whether or not the behavior is successful at meeting their needs.

This is true whether or not the behavior is acceptable.”

baby talks, or acts regressive needs something.

For all you Carlos fans, I think you’ll like these videos on the power of intention, by Wayne Dyer (part 1 and 2). I recommend putting your earphones on, turn down the lights, lay back, turn on the video and enjoy the ride 🙂

To the power of intent,

 “How do I know if I’m all the way willing or not?”

My answer is always the same, “You just know, you can feel it.”

Ask yourself this question: “What’s the nature of experiencing willingness?”

Quick Story:

Years ago I was invited to speak at a Peace Conference.

When the co-ordinator asked what

the title of the my presentation was said,

“Why People Hold Back From Peace”.

She stared at me with a surprised look on her face,

then suddenly smiled and said, “I get it, we all need to address this!”

The point of the story is, you are not alone in secretly being unwilling at times.

We all face many of the same day to day challenges

and sometimes find ourselves unwilling to

actually make the changes we say we want.

Willingness is one of the most essential skills for creating the freedom you say you want.

Willingness is the ability to suspend your thoughts

while bringing forth the bodily felt sense of openness to something new.

It takes a suspension of  wherever you are physically,

emotionally and mentally “holding back”.

Willingness creates a crack to allow something new.

It is a  letting go of any static perception of “how things are”,

while releasing tension in your body,

long enough for a shift to happen.

Make sense?

And the wonderful thing is,

even if you open a willing space for at least 10 seconds,

it works!

Yep, a full 10 seconds of suspending the way you have been “holding” things,

will get the ball rolling!

Ten seconds of 100% willingness, not 99.99%,

will open enough of a crack to allow something new!

Believe me, it works so well you may not even notice what’s happening.

Have you ever experienced that?

You wanted something in your life,

made the decision and were willing…

and one day you suddenly you realize what you wanted is happening?

It’s true, when you’re truly willing,

and release the grip on what’s holding you back,

you can wake up one morning and with…

• A new attitude

• Support coming in from all  directions.

• Evidence of change surrounding you.

• Knowing your dream’s are coming true.

You may still be wondering, “How do I know when I’m at 100% willingness?”

It’s funny when I think of all the things I tried to answer that  to question:

• Walked with focused intention on the country roads
• Breathed into my intentions.
• Hung upside down on my couch to  change my way of looking at things.
• Screamed into pillows, hit pillows and danced
• Spent hours in nature
• Did everything I could think of to shift my energy.

All of those things helped, but it wasn’t until

I discovered the “unwilling” part, did things start to change.

Here’s what I learned:

Willingness lives inside us, and we feel and know whether we are willing or not. Our bodies know if we’re holding back.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: Once you admit you’re unwilling, you can shift it!

Some tips on how to be willingness include:

• Admit where you are.
• Rate your willingness on a scale from 1-100% willing. it’s fine wherever you are, as long as you’re willing to admit where you are in the process, you’ll keep making headway.
•  Embrace the part that feels unwilling.
• Breathe into it.
• Let the unwillingness know that you’re not going to push it away again, or pretend that it’s not there.
• Let the unwillingness talk to you, and tell you how it feels to be holding back.
• Talk back and forth until you feel your connection and love for the unwillingness that has been dutifully holding back for you.
• Keep breathing into it.
• Let your energy move and circulate around it, as you let go of the grip you’ve had around it.
• Allow the unwillingness to gently  dissolve, resolve and evolve into willingness.

Notice what happens, and even if you tighten up again,

you’ve created a crack!

A crack to let go into, a doorway for something new to happen.

Willingness is the decision to slip through the crack.

Remember, it’s fine wherever you are.

You’ll keep moving forward as long as you’re 

willing to admit where you are in the process.

In other words…

If I asked you right now: “How willing are you?“.

You might say: “Well Crystal, I think I’m at about 45%”.

I’d say:  “Great! That’s a good start and it means you know what I’m taking about. 

Your openness to explore and admit the truth is where it all begins! 

 Keep checking in with yourself and get reference points on

when you feel the most willingness and

keep expanding on that. 

 Remember, wherever you are in your experience is fine, 

keep embracing whatever you find

and your body will start getting the message 

that willingness is what you want. 

You’re opening  new pathways…

You’re breaking the habit of unwillingness,

and need some time to go thru the withdrawal from holding back.

No amount of convincing will ever get someone to be willing.

It only happens when you’re ready.

Ready to give your consent.

Ready to end the holding back…releasing reluctance and resistance.

With intent for willingness to flow freely,

“Resisto” is an endearing name the children in my life used for describing resistance to the love and fun that’s always available in any given moment.

The image to the right is from a children’s manual

I made for a 2 day children’s experience where

the children were introduced to “resisto”.

They giggled and easily understood who he was.

Have you ever noticed yourself resisting love?

Have you ever wondered if resisting love is inherent in the human condition?

Is resisting love, “just how life is”?

Good questions!

Some deeper questions might be:

• How am I selecting situations perpetuating resistance to love?
• How am I distorting things to prove it’s not safe t0 open to love?
• How am provoking the people in my life so they avoid loving me ?

Allowing love seems to be a challenge we all face at one time or another. 

Have you ever found yourself :

• Wallowing in self pity because someone isn’t loving you the way you think they should?
• Wondering why others seem to be getting all the love and you aren’t?
• Complaining, criticizing, shaming, guilt tripping, and not loving yourself?
• Wishing that you lived in a more loving home situation?
• Wanting to be part of a more loving world?

Well, I’ve spent plenty of time doing that and things changed

one day when I heard someone say,

“Why would anyone love you, if you aren’t  loving yourself?”

I thought to myself, “Good point!”

I immediately remembered how much I whined and fussed

about not having the love  I said I wanted.

Dang, I was blaming everyone on the outside

when it was really an inside job!

Needless to say, a passion was ignited in me to

discover how I could truly love myself, no matter what the evidence.

It was then that I made the decision to

accomplish what seemed like an almost impossible feat for me,

letting go of resistance to loving myself.

CLICK HERE  for more on loving yourself, no matter what the evidence.

If you have any questions, feel free to book a  FREE 30 minute conversation with me. 

CLICK HERE  to set up a good time to talk,

To allowing love,

Thank you Dr. Joe Dispenza!  What a wonderful way to show how that we can truly create the freedom that we want…

To trusting yourself and never giving up!

CLICK HERE for a 15 minute FREE consultation with me to ask any questions that you may have.

“Spiral Dynamics”, by Don Beck, is a dynamic model of human development that can help us understand some of the biggest issues in our world today.

Don brings understanding and compassion into difficult questions  about how to interact with differences in the developmental stages of human consciousness.

It brings awareness by providing a leading edge model of how humans ascend from basic biological needs to the more complex psychological motivations such as belongingness, esteem, cognitive, esthetic and self-actualization. It describes how our human needs at each level must be at least partially satisfied before the needs of the next level start to determine how we take action in our lives…from the evolutionary needs of basic survival to the quest for self-actualization and beyond.

Bottom line, the value of this book is to bring a more encompassing awareness, acceptance and compassion to the many different levels of consciousness functioning simultaneously on our planet… and to use the information to bring forth a more integral approach to the leadership we need in our world today.

The application of this model is being integrated into everything from corporate management, medicine, education and law.

Don Beck and Ken Wilber,  the well known integral psychologist,  have recently shown how some of these ideas are being immensely helpful in the fields of health and wellness…and how it is being successfully applied in some very difficult situations around the world, most famously in the post-Apartheid era in South Africa.

To bringing more compassion to our planet,

Have you ever asked yourself, “Who exactly am I trying to save?”

Well I have, many times.

Years ago I, I went an organization that was committed to “Save the ________”.

It was obvious that they all had good intentions.

They wanted to create a resolution.

At the same time I remember leaving there thinking , “Wow, they better start thinking about saving themselves first!”.

It was sad see how stressed, overworked, and exhausted everyone felt.

They were up in arms and convinced that they were the “good ones” trying to convince “bad ones” to stop what they were doing. An endless battle.

Their energy was literally “tied up” in trying to fix who they thought were the “trapped” while trying to convince the “unconscious” ones.

The sad part was that they had become the “caged” and “unconscious” ones themselves!

Think about it.

If your energy is all “tied up” in trying to save and convince someone, what is your own experience going to be? All tied up and needing to be saved!

And now you’re part of the problem. Dang!

On that note I leave you with a powerful question:

What is the nature of experiencing myself part of the resolution without becoming part of the problem?

To the power resolution,

Has it ever crossed your mind that if you could just get rid of someone in your life, that your problems would be over?

Like a thorn in your hand, that you can pull it out and throw it away and things just go better, right?

And then there’s war… trying to exterminate the problem, even though we are horrified and know inside that it really doesn’t work.

So you may be wondering, as so many have, ” What other resolutions are there to some of these challenges in life?”.

Well, one thing I know for sure, if I ever start wanting to get rid of someone, I can always  find something that is similar to what I am seeing in them that I am trying to get rid of inside myself.

For example:

Betty couldn’t stand her boss always pretending everything was fine at work, while she knew that things were falling apart. She was convinced that her boss wasn’t man enough to admit what was happening and to stand up for finding a resolution.

It bugged Betty to no end and she wished she were the owner of the business so she could just get rid of him. She was convinced that it would make her life so much better.

Finally one day when Betty was taking some time for herself she realized that she pretending just like her boss was!

She was pretending her marriage was fine while she suspecting that her husband was making plans to leave her.

Betty realized that she had been denying what was really happening. She was doing everything she could to get rid the feelings that were telling her that something wasn’t working!

She wasn’t standing up for herself!

She was trying to get rid of the very parts of herself that could be guiding her in how to make changes that could bring resolution in her marriage! Her feelings were stuck inside… not getting the air and space that they needed to be move and be part of the resolution in her life.

And that’s exactly what her boss was doing in the office!

She had been using her personal power to keep her feelings under control with the illusion that somehow that was the answer. And the more she tried to control them the more of a struggle she was feeling inside…and the more she wanted to get rid of the feelings!  She was the one that was making her miserable!

Finally she was admitting what she had known all along….that she was lying to herself, resisting the truth and not standing up for herself to bring resolution.

She had been busy trying to get rid of what she thought was something “wrong” and “bad”…just like her boss was.

Betty was horrified that she had been blaming the people outside herself, and committed to make the changes she needed to make in herself.

And as she did that, her personal life start to shift,

She was starting to feel free inside!

And interesting enough, things started to shift at work…her boss was making the changes that she had been wanting!

Think about it.

Isn’t that war is really about? Trying to get rid of the “bad” and “wrong” people in our world. The people who appear to be trying to take control and ruin our lives?

And yet we’re doing that very same thing at home inside of ourselves!

How can we expect for war to stop while the war is still going on inside ourselves?

To freedom from the inside out,

I remember, years ago, going to talk with some people in an organization that was committed to “Save the (something)” .

I could feel their good intention, and at the same time I walked out thinking to myself, “It’s going to be difficult to make the difference that what to make to save the (something)…they need to save themselves first”.  Everyone was stressed out, complaining and up in arms about everyone else who was causing the problem…and they were convinced that they were the “good ones” trying to get rid of the “bad ones”.  What stood out was how self righteous, exhausted and unepowered they felt in a certain way….trying to “resist” and get rid of the problem they were seeing.

Their energy was so tied up in the resisting and rebelling against what they thought was were the “wrong” ones, that it was obvious that the only ones they were resisting was themselves.

Think about it.

If your energy is all wrapped up in pushing, resisting and trying to”get rid of”, what is your experience going to be?

With resisting!

For instance, when your energy is all wrapped up in whose “fault” it is while “holding” resentment (resentir + re-feel) and trying to get rid of them. Resentment and blame just create more of the same…and leads to toxic shame….because a part of you knows it will never work to have the results you want.

You may have gotten in the habit of holding resentment and if you are honest with yourself you will feel it.

It has a body chemistry that is very recognizable to not only you, bu t everyone else too.

Others with that habit may join you in your mission to “get back” at who you think is at fault, and mist will simply see you for who you are.

The reality of things, is that justice never comes from blame, resentment, and trying to “get back”.

In his famous books on World Religion,        said,  when he was asked if war was caused by people having different religions he said not….that in studying cultures from all over the world…and asking that question, he said everyone said that it was some old held resentment!

So you may wondering, how can I bring peace to that war inside myself?

First is to look yourself in the eye, and admit the war you have going.

Second ask yourself this question:

“What is the nature of experiencing the war inside myself gone, and experiencing peace that radiates out of me”.

Notice what the resentment feels like inside of you and pinpoint where you are holding it.

Breathe into it and let it know that you are not going to abandon it anymore, and commit to this.

Make the decision that you will stay with it, and let yourself go thru withdarwal from the chemistry of doing it.

Be ruthless with yourself.

The next thing you can do…that is a lifesaver for me…is to exagerate it!

Find a safe place to be, and start saying, “I resent it!” Resent, resent,resent….loud and soft…hit some pillows, scream it our, etc,

If you do it long enough an amazing shift will happen…a feeling will come over you that you will never forget.

Once you’ve let the feeling go, start noticing if you want to re-assemble inside yourself…you know when you  are doing it.

Be willing to admit..remembering that if you are only at 10% it’s a start!.

Vibrate your energy into it, until you feel a shift.

Do what ever you need to do to fill the space with healthy activities, thought processes, and circulation of your energy.

If you keep doing that, your being will get you mean business.

One of the most powerful quotes that I know is from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

” Life consists of what a person is thinking about all day.”

Have you ever found yourself saying: What was I thinking!!!??

Well, that’s a really good question! Exactly what are you thinking? Your willingness to be with that question gives you the power to shape your life!

Now ask yourself this question:

What is the nature of experiencing thinking that creates the the most beneficial, fun, loving, empowered, free and abundant experiences possible?

Remember, powerful questions give powerful answers. As soon as you ask a question something inside of you starts to shift immediately. Your questions are catalysts that set the universe in motion to respond to you.

If you use your thinking wisely, you can craft you questions in such a way that the answers come as the bodily felt sense of having the experience that you want.

For instance, if you ask the questions like “What is wrong with me”, then guess what answers you get? All the things that you think are wrong with you!

And what would have happened though if you had asked this question, “What is the nature of experiencing the perfection of my being? What experience would you have as the answer to that question? It would be the bodily felt experience of the perfection of your being!

That’s a simple example of  how getting clear on what you’re thinking can change your life forever!

So, notice your thinking right now. Can you identify anything that is already shifting just by asking those questions related to the quality of your thinking?

You may be wondering: “What have I been thinking?!!!?”  Good question to be asking yourself frequesntly.

What you’ve been thinking is collection of thoughts that you’ve gathered along the way.. And like most people, some of your thought may have developed into the patterns, tendencies, and the habits that are shaping how you perceive, respond, and make choices.

Each person has their own unique way of thinking about how to approach life and how they perceive things…and is commonly called a “mindset”. Getting clear on this is a powerful awareness, because your mindset affects everything in your life including who you think you are…and what you think you deserve

. Here’s a example of two different mindsets:   Imagine that someone just got mad at you for something that you said… And follow the thought of how your experience would be if you responded with:

Mindset #1:

• No matter what I say, it’s never enough.
• I’m not very good at communicating, so I might as well give up.
• I’m really not a good enough person
• There must be something wrong with me
• I’m a loser and should just forget about ever having any friends.
• She hates me, so I might as well leave and never come come back

Recognize any of these thoughts?

• I never  seem to be able to do enough
• There are so many things that I ‘should” be doing
• I just can’t seem to get it  perfect and”right”
• I need compare myself to others to find out how to do my life
• I’ve got to keep re-thinking my  past to remember why I feel so unworthy and bad
• These’s so much that I don’t have
• What’s wrong with me? Whatever it is, I feel powerless to fix it
• I need to figure out who is right or who is wrong
• There are so my reasons that I can’t have and do what I want

NOTICE your thinking right now. What impact did these last few moments of watching a video have on your thinking? Thanks for hanging in here! And congratulations on your willingness to expand your awareness! Now on to the next phase!

Have you ever had at a moment when you were trying to change your thinking and someone chimed in and says, “Oh, that’s easy…just let go of  those old “negative” thoughts and starting thinking “positive” ones!

Sounds like a great idea, right? But it doesn’t always seem to work that easily.

That’s because your thoughts and beliefs are often  anchored by what I call “stuck energy”. This is energy inside you that is stuck, not circulating and moving. If that energy doesn’t start moving, no matter how hard you try, the same stinking thinking will rise to the surface again!

To better understand what I mean: Take a deep breathe in and hold it…hold it ….hold it….hold it…don’t let it go yet! Now tighten up  your fists and the rest of your body…squeeze, squeeze….squeeze! This is what I mean by uptight…literally tightening up! NOTICE: What’s happening to the clearness of your thinking?

NOW RELAX:  Let it go…and take a few deep breathes. SHAKE IT ALL OUT: And notice how you feel. Feel the relief of oxygen flowing back thru your veins…filling yourself up with what you need to be alive.

Holding your breathe and tightening up your body like this… is the same thing that happens when you contract around your heart and and your breathing becomes shallow. That very tightening at times during the day creates to lack of circulation in your body. Your body  tries to alert you to danger…you start to feel uncomfortable, stressed, and un-easy…an uneasiness that will keep getting louder until you have the symptoms of disease.

NOW TRY IT ONE MORE TIME: Take a deep breathe and hold it… with everything that I just said in mind. Hold it, hold it, tighten up your body…do it as long as you can to notice what happens to your thinking and everything else in your body. And when you are ready…. LET IT GO! RELAX, SHAKE IT OUT!

What’s amazing is, not only does it feel great when you finally let go, your beliefs or thoughts are free to let go with you! You’ve shaken up stuck energy and made space for a change! Believe me, if you practice the concepts of what I just shared with you… and learn how to vibrate and shake out old stuck energy , I promise you that you will have the fastest leap in your thinking that you’ve ever had!

Now go shake it all out!

Now that you know how to make space for a change, it’s time to start take some more action. For example, think about the word “success”…write down what thoughts come to mind. Identify any patterns, attitudes or mindsets that you find. Some mindsets around success might include:

• Success isn’t for everyone, it is just for people who went to college,,,and I didn’t go to college, so it means that I can never be successful.
• Success makes you self important and unlikeable…and I’d rather be a nice person and have friends and family so I have no interest in being successful.
• Success requires sacrifice and not having time with your family, so I have no interest in it.
• Success is fleeting, so no use chasing it.

Now it’s time to get super clear on what you want to receive. You’ll be amazed at how much difference this makes in the amount of freedom you can experience.

Start right here…

Do you remember as a kid, having an adult say to you, “Now just remember, it’s better to give than to receive”?

And your first thought was “NO WAY!”                                              

Well you were absolutely right on to think that!

Without Receiving where would all the Giving to go?

What were they thinking?!!!

So getting clear on what you think about receiving is a necessary part of your success in all your giving!

Now ask yourself these questions:

• What is the nature of experiencing what is most beneficial for me to receive?
• What is the nature of experiencing my willingness to receive?
• What is the nature of experiencing the ongoing expansion of my ability and willingness to receive?

Once again, you will be receiving the answers to these question in many different ways!

Check it out….what are you receiving, right here, right now?

Close your eyes and start noticing…. 

• Your breathing…the air.
• Yourself as an energy being connected to everything from your inside out
• Sounds
• Taste
• Smells
• Awareness
• Emotions
• Visuals even with your eyes closed!
• Light
• Ideas
• Thoughts

Open your eyes

What did you learn?

Write it down because it’s key to your success!

The universe is wired with endless circuits of giving and receiving.

How much you get to enjoy it is a matter of how willing you are to receive it!

One of the biggest questions to keep asking yourself :  “Am I really willing to receive all that the universe is offering me, right here, right now?”

And if so, what are my limits?

The universe is wired with endless circuits of giving and receiving. How much you get to enjoy it is a matter of how willing you are to receive it!

So the biggest question to keep asking yourself :  “Am I really willing to receive all that the universe is offering me, right here, right now?”

And if so, what are my limits?

And if you are like most people living in this world, much of your moment to moment focus is filled with the seemingly endless tasks in your life, and you may forget to stop and to get present…and allow the awesomeness of your existence inspire you!

Anytime you start fussing about something not working the way you want it to, I just take a deep breathe and stop what you are doing…and get yourself self back to the bodily felt experience of awe.

From that place, all the little things that you were  fussing about suddenly loose the power to annoy you, and the resolutions that you want suddenly are with you!

Check out some common beliefs about receiving…and some ideas on how you can shift them and change them into a new experience:

•  “I don’t know what I want”

I am listening to myself closely now.. and what I want is clear. 

•  “If I get clear on what I want… and I never receive it, I’ll feel powerless…and I want to avoid that feeling at all costs…so I’ll just keep staying in the process of building my hopes up…hoping that someday I’ll get what I want”

My new experience is:  “Getting clear on what I want is empowering for me…it opens me up to receive what the universe is wanting to give me. I am listening closely and receiving the guidance that is being provided to me.. following that guidance step-by step…as I am receiving all the pieces that are giving me what I truly want!”

• “If I ever get what I want I might find out that I’ve made a mistake…. and then I’ll be stuck with it forever…so it’s better to act like I don’t even know what I want so that I can be free.”

My new experience is:  “In the the process of getting what I want I may have some learning experiences along the way. I’m only agreeing to the most loving, nurturing and empowering learning experiences and am using them as a springboard to open up my limits to  receive what I want fully.”

• “If I receive what I want then I’ll  feel guilty because there are so many people in the world that are not getting what they want”.

My new experience is:  ” I am free to receive with gratitude everything that is mine to receive. The best way to support others in learning how to receive is to keep receiving what is mine. My willingness to receive is a catalyst in the the mass conscious mind. It touches everyone and is part of the breakthrough and resolution that I want to be part of.”

• “If I discover that I have the power to focus on what I want and receive it, I will get clear on that enormous amount of power that I have and be scared of it…after all, people in power are usually corrupt and take advantage of people.”

My new experience is:  “I have the power to receive what I want. Anyone can be embowered to do that if they are willing. Being powered is a loving nurturing experience to be having… and it opens up the space to give and receive in a way that can change peoples lives for the better. I am using that power to be a beneficial catalyst for resolution in the world”.

• “The ability to receive is only for special people that have power…I could never have that kind of power.”

My new experience is:  “We are all created equal and are one with the source..and, if I’m willing, I am able to tap into the source of my receiving , and I choose to do so.”

• “I’ve wanted things before and I never received them so I might as well give up.”

My new experience is: “I can ask for what I want and receive it…and I am trusting the process and timing that universe knows best is the way to give to me. I am allowing myself to receive what I want in the most beneficial and empowering way.”

• “There’s no use wanting more, because this is all there is”

My new experience is:  “The abundance of the universe is unlimited. Anything that is truly mine will manifest for me at the most beneficial time.”

• I didn’t know what I want because I need to be so busy taking care of what everyone else wants.

My new experience is:  “I know what I want and allow others to receive what they want. It is not my responsibility to give others what they want. I choose what to giving to those only those who are willing and that I know are the most appropriate to give to.”

• I’m unwilling to receive much because then I will feel obliged to give back to them…and I don’t have the time and energy…it’s just simpler to be left alone and not have much.

My new experience is: “Giving and receiving comes natural to me. I am knowing that I am only inspired to give when it is the right thing for everyone involves. I am allowing the myself full experience of appropriate giving and receiving…it opens me up to all the wonderful things in life and gives me the freedom that I want.”

Here are some more thoughts on receiving:

•  Lynn Twist,  author of The Soul of Money and co-founder the Pachamama Alliance, says this….

 “When you get out of the chase for more and actually pay attention to what’s already there, you start to see that life meets you exactly where you are and gives you exactly what you need. It’s not an amount of anything. It’s a way of being, a way of seeing, a way of living”.

And now onto another question:  

Have you ever had someone try to convince you of why you should be receiving something?  A person who thinks they are doing “for your own good”…and they try to persuade you to buy, receive, or do something… or try to persuade you to think the same ways as they do?

I have to admit, I’ve done that myself.

Especially as a mom who wants the best for my kid…I just want to get the point across and be sure that she receives what I say  so she can avoid doing what I did!

Or when I try  to convince someone of something new I’ve discovered and assume everyone else with be as excited as I am!

Dang, when I  think about all the times that I’ve done that it makes me squirm!

I remember how people were turned their eyes away from me…and then I just tried harder and harder to get them to receive the wonderful thing that I thought I had to offer.

Yuck!

And the horrible part is that I hate it when people do that to me…. and I just want to get away as fast as I can!

One day while realizing that I didn’t want to do that any more, I ran accross and article on the internet (I wish I could find it again, because the writer  said it just nailed it!)

He said that studies have shown it is human nature to pull away from being persuaded or convinced.

Even if someone is shaking their head in agreement…some part of them will not be receiving it…and will start  pushing and rebelling inside against it

If it’s the tiniest bit of convincing, and they seem to be receiving what you are say, inside there is a part of them saying “no way!”.

And if someone receives an idea or a product, and they feel that they have been persuaded, they often give it back or don’t ever use it.

As I’ve mentioned before,  then I was happy when I heard about the work Michael Oliver calls “natural selling”.

His work gave me exactly what I wanted to know to about how to overcome this challenge!

When Michael was describing how people use convincing…I was suddenly struck how much I still try to convince and persuade myself!

I was still trying to persuade and convince myself to receive things that I really didn’t even want!

And I was responding to myself the same way that others did to me…I  just wanted to get away from myself…which meant getting unpresent…and rejecting myself…so in the long run, not deserving to receive anything that I want!

WOW, that was an eye opener!

So I decided to apply Michael Oliver’s natural selling to myself.

I suggest that you see what happens if you follow along and see what happens if you apply it to yourself.

• Let go of assuming that you know what you want
• Suspend overpowering yourself with all the good stuff that you think you want and need …and telling yourself why it would be wonderful that you had it.
• Set out to find out what is at the core of where you have been, where you are now, and gently discover for yourself what is true about what you really need right now.

Whew, isn’t that a relief!

Just think how understanding yourself in this way will affect, not only your success in receiving, but also in successful giving!

Think of all the rejection and uncomfortable moments that you can avoid.

And how fun… to have your job be to get your curiousity turned on… and learn how to ask good questions to yourself and others…and learn about how to turn the answers to the question into to more and more good questions!

Remember, the problem with always trying to convince yourself into a quick solution… is that you may unconsciously be setting yourself up for failure because you haven’t really involved yourself in your own conversation.

• Jumping in with with everything that other people tell you on How you “should” do it, never gives you that chance to explore where you’ve been and what is it that will really give you the experience that you want now!
• You might  jump at the chance to hop on with an idea that someone you know has found inspiring and totally right for them…only to be dissapointed because it’s not turning out to be a right fit for you.
• It doesn’t matter what others think of their products or solutions….it’s what YOU think!
• You need to feel involved and discovering for yourself.
• Most people have good intentions of being for you… but bottom line they are often more interested in themselves.
•  Do you want to be talked at or told?
• Or do you want to be asked and heard?

With all that in mind, create a space for yourself where it’s quiet and supportive.

Enter a discovery journey where you can answer these questions:

• Who am I now?
• Where am have I coming from and where am I going?
• What are my dreams and visions for my life?
• What are my values?
• What do I want? And why do I want it?
• What don’t I want? Why don’t I want it?
• What have I learned from the things that didn’t work very well?
• What was missing in those situations?
• What would I have chosen differently…and why?
• Do I want to change my present situation?
• Am I ready and willing?

Notice how it feels to talk to yourself in this way… time to look at where you’ve been, and get real about what things have worked out well in your life… and what didn’t.

You’ve taken time evaluate how you felt about what you were doing back then… and about what you are doing now…not based on whether it “should be” working for you, but on what actually feels right for you.

Quick overview of your listening  journey:

• Listen to yourself rather than trying to convince yourself of the next thing that you “should” want.
• Let your inner self take over by asking yourself questions.
• Listen to your answers carefully and then ask yourself another question based on what you learned from the answer to the last one!
• Concentrate on everything you say and don’t say.
• Notice as you answer your questions what starts getting ignited internally.
• Let your questions and answers keep opening yourself up to  you see the ways you have been thinking and feeling…while you are winning your own trust.

Now check it out…are you coming  up with only your more surface needs… like more clothes, a house, more freedom, money, time, residual income, health, less stress, less cost, fewer deadlines, less politics, less commute, less work, less effort, or a new car.

Those are great, AND keep going deeper… and let yourself get to a even fuller picture of what you want to receive.

For instance, how do you feel about what you don’t want?  You are working really hard but you just don’t feel the acknowledgment you deserve…and that leaves you feeling used, frustrated and drained at the end of the day.

By going deeper like this you start to see that, it’s not so much what you want that’s important, but the reason why you want what you want.

So now what you want might sound like “I want to work with a team where I feel energized and acknowledged for what I do”

So you see how important that it is for you to touch into the core of why you want something…so you receive what will actually be rewarding for you.

Clarity brings power!

To remind you of many of the core things that you might want, here’s the same list that I put here when you were getting clear on what you want to give. Now look at it as a way to get clear on what you want to receive!

• Be listened to
• Be recognized
• Be heard                                     
• Be appreciated
• Be in charge of my life
• Be challenged
• Be understood
• Be acknowledge
• Be part of something
• To love and be loved
• Be fulfilled
• Be affirmed
• Be respected
• Be liked
• Be among positive people
• Have self-esteem
• Have a sense of community
• Have a sense of security
• To have excitement

You may also be looking for…

• Achievement
• Power
• Fun
• Companionship
• Comfort
• Inner Peace
• Sense of Safety
• Assurance
• Stability
• Harmony
• Acknowledgement
• Personal Satisfaction