Archive | August, 2016

Why People Hold Back From Peace

August 25, 2016


Throughout history man has asked the question of how to create peace on Earth. Even though people tend to differ in the ways they think about peace, we all intuitively now know that war is not the answerWe see that leaving responsibility to other people is not the answer either. We are finally coming to terms that we are the ones who need to take a new level of responsibility.

Many people have turned to exploring what would happen if we turned our focus to taking 100% responsibility for ending the war within ourselves? What if we take full responsibility for how we create war inside ourselves? What if we admit that war is our reflection? What if we admit that we often control and try to get rid of parts of ourselves? What if we make better choices about how we think, feel and behave?

Years ago at a Peace Conference, a presentation was added called “Why People Hold Back From Peace.” Most people looked at the title with a surprised look on their face. Soon they smiled and said, “I get it, we all need to address this!”

Think about it…

We often find ourselves struggling with questions like, “How can I find peace inside when I am holding on to guilt? How can I feel at peace with so many bad people in the world? How can I find peace when I find myself being judgmental, hateful and discrimatory?

We learn that what we try to get rid of comes around again in some other form and place. A good example is our country sending drones to bomb other people, only to see more and more mass shootings crop up in our own country. Trying to get rid of people is not the answer. What we resist persists, right?

Many people have turned to exploring what would happen if we turned our focus to taking 100% responsibility for ending the war within ourselves? What if we take full responsibility for how we create war within ourselves? What if we acknowledge that the war is our reflection? What if we stop trying to control and get rid of parts of ourselves?

THE GOOD NEWS IS: Resolution begins with making a decision about how we treat and relate with ourselves.  A great way to explore what it means to relate within ourselves starts by sitting on a pillow. Then place three other pillows in front of that one. Each pillow represents a different aspect of ourselves. One is ourselves as a spirit. The other three pillows are representing our bodies, emotions and hearts. The idea is to start a conversation allowing each aspect of ourselves to speak and express their experience of being part of us.

How this exercise works is demonstrated as follows… 

  • You as spirit start the conversation by speaking to your emotional body, “I hate the way you try to get in the way of things I want to do.”
  • Allow the emotions to respond. They may say, “I feel suffocated when you try to push me away. I am trying to do my job of guiding you in having the most loving, fun, abundant and empowered life possible.”
  • Go back and forth letting them each speak.
  • Then encourage the other aspects to speak, interact and express how they feel.
  • Create lots of time and space so all the aspects can go back and forth speaking and expressing among one another.
  • Observe and acknowledge the love that arises as the truth keeps being revealed and integrated.
  • Notice how bunch of great ideas for resolution is spontaneously arising!
  • All aspects of you begin to truly understand what it means to be in synergy and alignment with yourself and be a catalyst for peace from your inside out.

Bottom line are we willing take full responsibility for ending war by taking full responsibility for creating peace within ourselves? The following is a list of some common beliefs that often hold us back from bringing forth the peace we want…

  • War is just part of life.
  • We have to fight for our freedom.
  • There is not enough for everybody, so we must fight for resources.
  • Getting rid of the people we think are bad will give us peace.
  • Conditions must be perfect, right and done before we can have peace.
  • Peace is not possible and history proves it.
  • Letting go of war and resistance is dangerous because it could set us up to be at risk for being vulnerable.

We also must find the strength to acknowledge any rage, fear and sadness we feel around the conditions in our world. Can we let these emotions move and express in safe and healthy ways? Then let the feelings go? Can we release any judgements, resentment and discrimination we are holding onto? Are we willing to stay connected to the loving source that is always with us and guide us towards the peace we want?

To the realization within ourselves of a paradigm where peace can thrive,



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The Power of Appropriate Relationship

August 25, 2016


Appropriate relationships are relationships we know are good for us. They are fun, inspiring and empowering. They align with our values and give us clarity on why other inappropriate relationships never worked.

The word “appropriate” refers to being suitable, fitting or right in any particular circumstance. The wonderful thing is that we each have an internal guidance system that allows us to feel and know what is appropriate for us at any given moment.

With all that said, have you ever noticed that the topic of “appropriate relationship” is often a touchy subject? How some people become reactive when the concept is mentioned? How the concept of appropriate relationship is rarely talked about in ways that would make a difference in people’s lives?

Think about it…

We sense that the relationships we dream of are “out there” somewhere. Quantum physics helps us understand how we create our realities. We get excited about creating relationships that will meet us in the passion of taking full responsibility for our lives. We intend our relationships will appear in their perfect timing as we get more and more clear on what we want.

Unfortunately, even with all our good intentions, we sometimes find ourselves feeling powerless to create the relationships we want. We settle for inappropriate relationships with the hope they will provide us with the following…

  • Security
  • A sense of belonging
  • Fulfillment and happiness
  • Someone to blame for our lack of fulfillment and happiness.
  • Someone to join us in holding back as a way to feel safe.
  • Someone who to to control and manipulate us as a way to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves.
  • Engagement in playing out the different roles that collective consciousness thinks it needs to keep things together and under control (caretaker, responsible one, victim, the problem, the superior or inferior one etc).
  • Ongoing validation that there is something wrong with us to justify why we cannot take responsibility for our lives.
  • Someone to settle with who goes along with the the fantasy that our inappropriate relationship is working.

Unfortunately, inappropriate relationships require lying to ourselves, draining our power and ignoring the effect we are having on the people around us. We feel touchy and reactive when we know others are aware what we are doing. We are hesitant to admit that we are holding back out of fear, powerlessness and guilt around using our relationships inappropriately.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: Inappropriate relationships can be dissolved, resolved and evolved. No one involved is bad or wrong. Each person involved can take responsibility for changing the form of any inappropriate relationships they have. They can make the change in a loving and empowering way.

The following exercise can bring clarity and resolution into the nature of appropriate relationships…

  • Gather together a group of people who want to participate in learning how to make their relationships better.
  • Ask them to huddle as close as they can in the middle of the room
  • After being in the huddle for awhile ask them to notice how they feel.
  • Ask them to notice any preferences around who they want to be close to or not close to at any given moment.
  • Let them know they are free to move around whenever and wherever they want.
  • Ask them to bring awareness into what other people are choosing (some people pulling out, some shifting to a different parts of the huddle, some being content where they are etc.).
  • Ask them to notice if they have any hesitancy to let people see their preferences.
  • Encourage them to be flexible, adjust and move to wherever feels the best.
  • Give them time to think about, feel and explore their choices.
  • Ask if they notice whether their choices build power or drain their power.
  • Assure them that the choices they are making are all okay and part of the process.
  • Assure them that the appropriateness of a relationship is flexible and can shift back and forth.
  • Ask them if a relationship is not working for them if they think the relationship is working for the other person.
  • Ask them to notice that when they let go of an inappropriate relationship they are creating the space for an appropriate one.
  • As the exercise is coming to a close, ask them to think about the relationships they have in their lives right now. With everything they have learned who would they choose to work with? Who would they choose as friends? Who would they want to be at their dining room table? Who do they want to be intimate with? Who have they been settling with? Who are they willing to shift into appropriate relationship with? What feelings and beliefs are coming up as they explore this?
  • Conclude the exercise with this question,“What is the nature of experiencing the ease, joy and empowerment of appropriate relationships in my life?”

To the power of appropriate relationships,



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The Fun and Joy in Taking 100% Responsibility for Our Lives

August 25, 2016


The joy and fun of taking full responsibility for our lives is one of the most exciting lessons we can learn in life. What often holds us back is the question, “How can I develop the self confidence, passion, motivation and discipline for taking that much responsibility for my life?”

Taking responsibility for our lives can be challenging at times. We like the idea of being in the driver’s seat yet often find ourselves landing in troubling situations without a map. We shame ourselves for getting off track and ask ourselves,“Where did I go wrong?”

Think about it…

Hearing the words “taking responsibility” often triggers the beliefs that responsibility is…

  • Laborious
  • Overwhelming
  • Filled with struggle and sacrifice
  • The demise of fun and freedom

• What makes us sick and tired

  • A sure way to be blamed when things go wrong
  • A reason to judge and punish ourselves if we make mistakes

No wonder the expression “taking full responsibility” often seems so dark and heavy!

THE GOOD NEWS IS:  As soon as we make the decision to be 100% responsible for our lives, the universe reveals the solutions to all these beliefs and questions. We begin to understand how taking full responsibility is the key to creating the freedom we want. 

 Responsibility brings clarity and knowing that we can be…

  • Guided and supported in creating the lives we want.
  • Part of the resolution rather of part of the problem.
  • Free of being a victim.
  • A catalyst for the changes we want to see in the world.

A fun metaphor to remember how taking full responsibility makes our lives a lot more easy…

Taking full responsibility for our lives is similar to surfing the waves, being present and enjoying the ride to shore. Lack of responsibility is trying to stay on the board, not being present and tumbling to shore with sand up your nose”.

Every challenge we face can be an opportunity to take 100% responsibility for our lives. An opportunity to let go of holding back and allowing the resolutions to reveal themselves in all the wonderful ways they do. We can embrace the victim inside, restoring it to the perfect internal guidance system it is designed to be. We learn to guide and co-create our lives with the loving source that is part of us.

The following are a few of the ways that taking full responsibility brings  joy, love and fun into our lives by…

•  Being responsible “to” others rather than responsible ‘for” others.

  • Taking action on what we feel passionate, inspired and motivated about.
  • Freedom from trying to control and manipulate.
  • Allowing ourselves to experience the powerful person we are.

Now think about this…

The word responsibility originates from the words “response” and “ability”, therefore the ability to respond.  We are born with the natural ability to respond to what we see, hear, feel, taste and touch. In any situation we can choose to respond by being reactive, angry, shaming, blaming etc. We also have the freedom to respond to the situation in any of these other following ways by…

  • Listening to our inner guidance before taking action.
  • Conjuring up positive ways to think, feel and talk about the situation.
  • Remembering  there is always a solution to every problem.

As with any skill, our ability to respond takes focus, time and practice. It is well worth the time and energy! Many people have dreams about what they want to experience in their lives yet never decide to to take full responsibility for learning how to fulfill those dreams.

It is never too late to start taking responsibility for your life. No matter what your past or present situation is, the joys of taking full responsibility are always available to you!

A few great questions we can ask ourselves with the intent to receive the answers are:

  • What is the nature of experiencing the joy, love and power that comes from taking 100% responsibility for my life?
  • What is the nature of experiencing myself take 100% responsibility for my life in ways that are loving, beneficial and empowering to myself and others?


To the joy of taking full responsibility for our lives,




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